During my cruise vacation I used a variety of modes of transportation]. I got a ride to the airport in a Subaru. I took a plane, a bus, a cruise ship, a bus, another bus, a van, a glass bottomed kayak, another bus, several tourist boats with fabric covers, a ferry, a rented SUV, and more buses. When the vacation was over I was not interested in flying from Miami to Minneapolis. So I took the Greyhound back. Greyhounds are not like as depicted in old films. They do not pull up to small town diners where you can get coffee, a cheese burger and a slice of cherry pie. The Greyhound stations have vending machines that often don't work. Some won't take cash. Some won't take cards. Some won't take bills; only coins. Healthy choices are not available in vending machines. Some Greyhound stations have bathrooms. The station in Miami had an operable men's room but the women's restroom was locked most of the time. The bathrooms vary in cleanliness. Some of the buses had WiFi and electrical plug-ins and some did not. I arrived at the Miami airport Greyhound station a little after midnight. My bus left at 9 a.m. I was planning to sleep in a metal chair. At 3 a.m. it was announced the station was closing until 4 a.m. I was advised to wait in the airport rental car lobby. I tried that. Between the noise of other customers, the floor cleaning machine and the floor waxing machine (which was as loud as a Harley with loud pipes), I barely got any sleep. I went back to the Greyhound station. Nine a.m. came and went with no Greyhound. I double checked my ticket. My ticket was for the next day. I could not do this another 24 hours so I changed my ticket to this day. The Greyhound desk staff was friendly and helpful. Now my bus left at 3 p.m. I had lunch (a salad) from a food truck parked down the block. Chickens were everywhere in Key West. Chickens were also in Miami. This handsome rooster was expecting a hand out but got nothing from me.
My bus left at 3 p.m. We stopped at Orlando and some other towns in Florida. All was going well until midnight. We were outside Gainesville, Florida when someone in the back yelled at the driver that a man was having a seizure. The driver, unwilling to stop, asked if he had seizures before. The two women asking her for help got frustrated. One woman said, "You don't understand. This is a 911/emergency type of situation here." The driver sent her assistant back. The assistant was an older man. He returned to the front and told her, "He seems okay, I don't know." The ladies in the back protested. The driver pulled over and dialed 911. She spoke to the 911 operator.
Using her microphone she asked the sick man, "Have you ever had seizures before?"
He said, "No."
Next the driver asked him, using the microphone, "Have you ever had a heart attack, stroke, or transischematic attack?"
In my head I am thinking this is a major HIPPA violation. The man, wisely, did not answer. The Greyhound driver announced that she was calling 911. I can see why she made that decision. We waited ten minutes. Another passenger said she had first aid experience and would check on him. She checked on him. She said he seemed okay but he was warm. Someone else in the bus said, "We are all warm. Please turn the AC back on." An ambulance arrived. Two paramedics came on board and went to the back of the bus. Two more paramedics arrived and walked to the back of the bus. A total of seven paramedics arrived and walked to the back of the bus. Five of them left. Two of them stayed. They asked reality orientation questions. He answered them. Who is the vice-president of the United States? He refused to ride in the ambulance. The paramedics left and we proceeded. This took about 45 minutes.
Twenty miles down the Florida highway we come upon flashing lights. The time is after 1 a.m. and I am still awake. We see smoke. We smell smoke. The young couple across from the aisle across from me quit making out. The young man says, "This smells like a wood fire. This does not smell like an electrical fire. This does not smell like a machinery fire. This smells like a wood fire. Someone is having a wood fire along the highway."
I look at him and ask, "Are you a fire fighter?"
He answers, "Yes, I am a fire fighter."
Makes sense to me. We continue our Greyhound journey.
We arrived in Atlanta at 10 a.m. My connection to Chicago left at 10 a.m. I missed my bus. I got another ticket that left at 3 p.m. Another guy on my bus named Mike also got another ticket but his wasn't until 10:30 p.m. We spoke about our troubles. Mike is thin. He smokes KOOL cigarettes. He has a smoker's cough. His hands tremble. All his luggage fits in one shopping bag. I watch his bag while he goes outside to use the internet WiFi from the Greyhound bus and smoke a cigarette. He watches my stuff while I walk around the block at the Atlanta Greyhound station. I come back. He asks, "Did any of those guys hassle you?"
I answer, "No, they left me alone but this is a sketchy area." I wish him well on his journey.
When it is time for me to go I show my ticket to the Greyhound employee. We are actually boarding a Flex bus, not a Greyhound bus. I ask the employee if my luggage should go under the bus. He indicates it can go under the bus or above the bus, it does not matter. My luggage goes under the bus. This Flex bus has no Internet. I try to conserve the battery on my phone but the link between Atlanta and Chicago is a long one. I was smart to bring my crochet hook and some yarn. We stop at a gas station for 15 minutes. I am back on time. We are all back on time except for one chubby black guy. He is hanging with the staff from another Greyhound bus. Our driver honks. Our driver starts driving away without him. Finally he quits talking and runs to the bus. Our driver scolds him saying he made us all wait. The guy says, "My apologies!"
Later the chubby black guy orders chicken at a gas station. He is not quick enough. The driver makes him leave without his chicken dinner. The chubby black guy is not happy. Magically, at the next stop, a chicken dinner is delivered to the bus stop for him. How did he do that? I don't know.
We drive through Georgia. We pick up people in Indiana. Chicago has two Greyhound stations. I get off but it is the wrong one. I'm glad I asked. I would hate to be stranded in the south side of Chicago.Inactivity can lead to swelling of
the feet and legs. My feet and legs started swelling yesterday. Now my legs are really swollen. I could
not find the jeans in my suitcase so I am still wearing shorts with yoga
pants underneath. My swollen legs are stretching my socks and yoga
pants. My driver says, "You need more clothes. It's cold in Chicago."
We arrive. I thank the driver for getting us here on time. My next bus is already boarding. I don't even have time to urinate much less charge my phone. My next driver is tall and handsome. He is scolding a man for not having patience. I show my ticket. He says I am in seat 8B. The people he is scolding tell me, "You have a seat! Get on the bus!"
I say, "Okay, I will get on the bus. I am new at this so I need assistance." I find my seat. I am seated next to a man spreader. His foot is on my side. From Chicago to Saint Paul I am in contact with his foot, his thigh, and his elbows. I find him to be very irritating. Also I am grumpy so maybe it's me not him.
I ask, "Is there electricity?" The electricity is on his side. He plugs in my phone. I am so tired I try to sleep. After an hour I hear a thud and I hear the man spreader say, "Shit." That was the sound of my phone falling to the floor. I know that but I don't care. I stay semi-asleep. When I wake up my phone is missing. My white charging cord is there but no phone.
I wake him up. "Where is my phone?"
He reaches under the seat. "Here is your phone." He hands me my charging cord too. By this time the sleep and food deprivation has moved my personality to the grumpy side. I am a grump. At 7 a.m. we come to the Wisconsin Dells MacDonald's. I have been without my morning coffee for days. I am going to have a coffee.
Our grumpy driver says we will be here for 20 minutes. He says we should not wait 15 minutes and then try to make an order. We should make an order immediately.
I attempt the McDonald's computerized ordering system but there is no way to ask for an egg McMuffin without meat so I wait at the counter for a staff. My man spreader seat/mate says, "Miss, I don't think anyone is going to take your order. Do you want my help in ordering at this station?" He is being nice but after he's been man spreading all night I am not taking in any niceness from him.
I respond grumpily, "No I will wait here." We all wait a long time.
With great pride I pick up my order before he picks up his. I swallow my egg mcmuffin. My throat seems to have trouble coordinating a swallow. Whatever, this is a meal. Almonds and cheese sticks are not enough After living on snacks I needed a meal. I carry my coffee to the bus.
Do I need coffee? No, I can live without coffee. I don't get a caffeine withdrawal headache. Am I happier with coffee? Yes, yes I am happier with coffee. We cross the Saint Croix river into Minnesota. All the passengers are looking at their phones or sleeping. I grumpily think to myself that this is scenic. Open your eyes and look out the freaking window. This is amazing scenery. I keep those thoughts to myself and look forward to getting off of this bus.
We arrive at Union Station in Saint Paul. Offspring #2 is already here waiting for me. I find my way to the parking area. Offspring #2 has a coffee waiting for me.
I am done with Greyhound. Thank heaven!
Lessons learned 1. Greyhound is affordable transportation but maybe not the best way to travel the country south to north. A shorter route is preferred. 2. I don't need coffee but I am a happier person with some form of caffeine. 3. I need to sleep in a bed at night. Chairs don't cut the mustard.
