Armed and Dangerous

The target? Squirrels eating suet on the deck. The ammunition? Ready. Shots on target? I dampened seven squirrels on Saturday; not seven individual squirrels, some got dampened twice. At least that many got away dry. I'll get better with more practice.

I blasted them with my Water Warrior Steady Stream. It creates a continuous stream that blasts up to 38 feet and holds up to 37 ounces of water. My water warrior has pump power action. The trick is to keep the water warrior in a bucket by the back door. When a target is on the deck, quietly unlock the door, pull the pump handle forward to load the water, open the door and pump fast to shoot a steady continuous stream all the way to the basswood tree because that is where the squirrels always go for cover. Sometimes the wily squirrel will hide below the deck floor. When that happens, wait with the water warrior ready and BLAST THEM IN THE NOGGIN when their little face peeks above the deck floor. So far we've had only one mishap. One offspring shot the kitchen floor instead of the squirrel. All damage was mopped up. My water warrior has totally changed the dynamic in the house. Hearing the words, "Squirrel on the deck!" used to make my blood boil Now I look forward to it. I smile and move as stealthily as Elmer Fudd to my water warrior storage bucket. I, the Water Warrior, dominate the suet holder on the deck.