Impressive Hammering!

Where Once There Was No Shed; Now There Is A Shed

Ask yourself, can three Baby Boomers and Five Millennials combine forces and create a 8x10 shed out of a kit off Amazon?  Yes, the answer is yes, and we can have a good time doing it.  Hammering is not my forte' but I can do it.  I hammer like this:  bam! (hit the nail on the head-a rare event), bam! (swing and miss entirely), bam! (tap 3 times to straighten the nail), bam (another hit), bam (straighten, straighten, straighten), bam, (straighten straighten, straighten) repeat 14 times and the nail is in!  Whereas my brother in law, with his handy dandy heavy hammer, goes Bam, Bam, Bam, Bam and that nail is in!  Oh, such skill - a beautiful thing to see. The sound of a nail being hit directly in resembles a xylophone - bam, bam, bam, bam in a slightly higher tone that brings music to my ears.  Yet the millennials are very good with hammers no matter the gender.  I gotta say, more time is spent by millennials in throwing the hammer into the air and catching it again than the baby boomers (who are probably more worried about sore toes).  The important thing is, all ages cooperated in a group problem solving energy that was beautiful to witness.  There was that one moment when a neighbor, an older man, beckoned to Offspring #2 with his finger and said, "Come Here Sweetie."  I knew anything out of that man's mouth that started with "Come Here Sweetie," was not going to go well.  He thought (did anyone ask? No.  He interrupted our work) that the floor that came with the kit wasn't the best floor for a shed to have.  Whatever, buddy, go back to your couch while we're out here working and getting things done. I helped a little.  I made 3 trips to Home Depot. I sorted screws.  I measured and labelled boards into 96 inch, 58 inch, 48 inch, 42 inch, 22 inch and I separated screws into 1/2 inch, 1 inch, 1 1/4 inch, 3 inch, 4 inch).  I refilled glasses of ice water. I brought stuff to people who needed it. I held a shed wall in place while a hammer drill sung and I sincerely hoped I was not about to get my ear canal cleaned out.  I measured roof  gables into exactly 102 inch long gables where my comments (with my trusty retractable measuring tape) readings were misinterpreted into bedroom comments, "Oh, too far, too short, oh, too far, 101.8, Oh, yeah, baby, just right"" by the millennials which cracked me up because I knew what they were thinking but could not be more eloquent given how fast these measurements were changing. Helpful and funny?  What better role for me?  Plus I brought strawberry short cake and what says summer better than strawberry short cake?  Like one millennial (who, by the way, has a driver drill which I so want and had never even heard of before-putting it on my Amazon gift list) said it best, "Where Once There Was No Shed; Now There Is A Shed."    Baby boomers and Millennials Unite and Get A Shed Built!

That Awkward Teenage Stage

This cuckoo Maran is at the stage where it is not a chick and not a chicken.  Peach fuzz in being replaced with grown up feathers. Golly, she is so cute I can hardly stand it.  Her wings are black and white striated.

Check out that white eye ring and those bluish-green legs.Add that to the Mohawk hair style?  This is the cutest chicken you ever saw.  She peeps at about 100 decibels though so, yeah, there is that.  She's a peeper!

Grunt

Mary Roach writes non-fiction books about science that are also humorous.  Her trick is to state the obvious. Stating the obvious can be funny and that is what she does in Grunt.  I have also read Bonk (about sex), Stiff (about death) and Gulp (about digestion). This book is about the injuries of war.  I learned so much from her.  All along the book I get more and more really incredible scientific information while being entertained; it's like taking vitamins that taste like chocolate. She had chapters on uniforms, vehicles, hearing loss, injuries from bombs, war medics, how the body handles heat, diarrhea, maggots, shark repellant, and sleep deprivation.  She had a chapter on stink bombs.  Did you know research was being done on using smells to disperse people at the same time research was being done on the atom bomb?  Why don't we try stink bombs to calmly disperse unruly crowds? She brings up ideas I have never thought of before.  Some of the discussion is about the Army and some about Marines but I'd say most of it is about the Navy.  I liked it so much I'd like to buy a copy for the two people in my family who are in the armed forces. 

"You're Gonna Get A ticket!"

WheneverS I encounter a speeder or a law breaker while driving, I sing a little song entitiled,"Youre Gonna Get a Ticket."  If I see you speed, I sing it. If I see you break a traffic law, I sing it. If you annoy me with your aggressive driving, I sing it.  Tonight, Karma rewarded me big time.  At the corner of Ferry Street and Bunker Lake Blvd,  I stopped at a red light.  A man biking had a nice orange bike (my favorite color).  The oncoming traffic had the right to make a left hand turn.  I wasn't sure if this man on the orange bike was going to go half-way across or not so I hesitated.  Excuse me, but I don't want to drive over a biker on an orange bile. The driver of a Cadillac with tinted windows  and out of state license plates beeped his (or possibly her but I doubt it) annoying Cadillac horn behind me.  I looked up. I say aloud, (yes, I talk when I drive), "Excuuuuse me!" (Steve Martin style).  I wait until I'm sure the orange bike rider isn't going to go.  Then I pause and make a right turn. I accelerate gradually.The Cadillac driver rolls through the red light (offense #1).  I don't accelerate unusually slow but with a car that gives me constant feedback on my miles per gallon, perhaps a little slower than I used to.  This Cadillac with tinted windows in offended and uses the right turn lane to pass me (Offense #2!) .  I sing my song, "You're Gonna Get A Ticket" out loud along with the words, "Seriously?  You think this is being a good driver?"  (Sarcasm is my second language). When, lo, and behold, red lights shine in my rear view mirror.  I pull over to let the police get by immediately.  Oh, karma, it feels so good, this driver IS going to get a ticket.  He (or she-I can't tell with these illegally tinted windows) tries to innocently buy gas at the Holiday Station Store) but BUSTED buddy.  You ARE going to get a ticket.  I obey all traffic laws all the way home.

Three Weeks To Say Goodbye

Do you like mysteries?  If so, you will probably like Three Weeks To Say Goodbye by C.J. Box.  It's not as if I didn't like this tale or that the writing wasn't good, it's just that when I read a mystery or a thriller, I feel so dang manipulated by the writing.  I don't like it when the author decides what I feel, what I think, and what I am surprised by.  I don't like how everything wraps up in the end in a tidy "you never saw it coming" package.  I don't watch crime shows on television either. I'd rather the author just told a story. When I read a mystery I disengage from the suspense because it feels forced instead of real.  If I know the book I am about to read is a mystery, I will read the last chapter first and then start at the beginning.  Sherlock Holmes?  Sherlock Holmes is different.  I love Sherlock Holmes stories and I can't explain why. I did enjoy reading an adoptive father's perspective on the joy of adopting and how much pleasure he saw the baby gave to his wife in this story though.

The Ultimate Dinner - LT Sandwich

Take two slices of marble rye bread and toast them lightly. Spread one slice of marble rye with a thin lay of mayonnaise.  Add two slices or organic red leaf lettuce.  Take a one pound tomato with a six inch diameter from a local organic farm and cut a one inch thick slice from the widest part.  Sprinkle with salt and, holy summer delight, Batman, you got a sandwich to beat all sandwiches.