The Club

I've never been part of the club.  Always a social outcast, I have not drank coffee.  Coffee drinkers get free refills at restaurants and all I get is more ice water.  People who don't drink coffee are not part of the in crowd; the social pariahs of beverages.  Join others for coffee at  Dunn Bros. and I order a bottle of water. Lately I've read about the health benefits of coffee. I tried to like it before.  Offspring #2 would coax me to sip her coffee concoctions.  Bleech! I never like the taste.  But coffee drinkers live longer and enjoy cardiac and digestive benefits from their drink of choice.  And coffee seems healthier because it is made from beans and hot water as opposed to the cancer causing ingredients of soda. So I thought that I could teach myself to enjoy coffee.  I learned how to knit. I learned how to ride a motorcycle.  I learned enough Swahili to make it through Kenya and enough Spanish to make it through Ecuador so why couldn't I learn how to like coffee? I am old yet trainable. I started out last week by buying a bag of Werther's sugar free coffee/caramel candy.  Yeah, the candy had a bitter taste but I ate one a day anyway.  Yeah, the candy left a bitter aftertaste but I toughed it out.  This morning I was extra tired. Last night I could not get comfortable in my normally comfortable bed.  I tossed and turned all night.  Like a hot dog on rollers at the gas station I moved from my back, right side, front, and left side while all the time maintaining the knee pillow I must wear because of my hip surgery. Round and round and round the knee pillow and I went. I was extra tired this morning.  I thought this would be the perfect day to try coffee.  I put 2 ounces of Folgers in my cup and mixed it with 2 ounces of whole milk that I brought from home.  I drank it down.  Was it good?  No.  Better than Nyquil, pepto bismol or milk of magnesia though.  I drank it like medicine.  Whoa baby!  Caffeine rush!  My cheeks burned hot.  The muscles in my shoulders hummed like plucked violin strings.  My fingers had extra energy and felt jumpy.  I was zipping on a caffeine high for two solid hours.  What would have happened if I drank a six ounce cup of this high powered beverage?  Chocolate has caffeine. Diet Pepsi has caffeine.  It's not like I was a caffeine virgin but coffee must be stronger.  Maybe drinking caffeine in a hot beverage is like mainlining it.  I didn't like the taste of coffee but I did like the rush.  No wonder people drink it every morning.  Coffee helped me forget my sleepless night and made me feel strong - like I could bust out of my clothes!  I might try it again tomorrow.