You Know It's Cold When

When the fluorescent security lights outside your house come on and are so dim the light shines only a couple feet away. When the air is so dry the snow beneath your feet squeaks. When you can feel each and every nose hair when you walk to the mailbox to get the newspaper. When the wooden rafters in your house bang so loudly it wakes you out of a sound sleep. When a coffee cup of hot water thrown into the air makes a sound like "Pfffffft" and disappears into thin air. When soap bubbles shatter and fall to the ground. When your shoulders ache because you are hunching them up around your neck to preserve warmth. When you go to hang your towel from your swim bag up to dry and it is frozen stiff and can't bend over the rack. When you fill up your gas tank before it gets below the half way mark. When the world outside is so quiet and muffled that the sound of a cardinal singing is astoundingly clear. When you stagger your use of hot water to keep the septic lines from freezing. When your office is so cold you wear a snuggie, a lap blanket, and use a portable heater to stay comfortable.