My Yellow Farting Shoes

I got these yellow plastic gardening clogs at Big Lots several years ago for two dollars. They're handy because they slip on and keep my feet dry when I walk out to the yard. I put them on yesterday to work in the garden and was highly amused (again) because they fart when I walk. Every step is a fart. Not just a dainty fart either. These are full throttle baked-beans-for-supper farts. I can't help but smile when you wear these shoes which tells you something about my third grade sense of humor. I walk along, fart, fart, fart, as the air flows over my toes and out of the shoe on the top of my foot. If I'm in a hurry it sounds like this - fartfartfartfart. Yesterday I used them to push the shovel into the dirt. As I shifted my weight from one foot to another, they let out a squeaky,forced sounding fart. When I was done shoveling I walked, fart, fart, fart back to the house, smiling all the way. Lets hope I remember not to wear them when someone I want to impress comes over to visit. I don't know if it was the farting shoes or the exercise in digging last night, but my back feels better today than any day in the past 6 months.