Black Walnut Passion

In the picture above is the tree that has brought out passionate feelings in me for the past quarter of a century.  It stands tall in the center of the photograph with arching branches and a thickening in the middle of the trunk where trimmed branches used to be.  Twenty five years ago it was much shorter. I used to stand on the snow and hang plastic eggs from the branches for spring time decorations. Twenty years ago it started producing fruit.  At first the black walnuts were interesting. Over time the walnuts became annoying. This last fall the walnuts became deadly.  As I stood at the rain barrel a breeze came up and 70 walnuts rained down on my and that is the moment I decided this tree was coming down. Now the black walnut tree is down.  I hired someone to take it down.  In the morning of the day it was scheduled to come down I looked up at the tree, shook my fist at it and said aloud, "You are going down!" Are my feelings less passionate now that the tree is down?  No.  I left specific instructions with the arborist.  Leave the trunk intact I said.  Cut the branches into fireplace lengths I said. Leave the brush and I will take care of it I said. He listened. He seemed to understand my wishes. When I came home that evening I saw the tree was down and the house was still standing.  The brush was there. The branches were cut into fireplace lengths IF YOUR FIREPLACE IS 8 FEET WIDE. The trunk was not intact.  The trunk had been sliced into various lengths varying between two feet and 7 feet as if someone was using a chainsaw for fun and at random. Was I livid?  Yes. I was boiling mad. The arborist was not in my yard at the time I got home but I could hear them working in the neighborhood.  As the sun was setting the arborist came for his money which I had ready in cash. He knocks on the door. I mention that the trunk was cut into pieces.  He says he was going to tell me about that. His employee did not listen to his instructions.  He cut the tree down himself and when he went to gather more business in the neighborhood his employee did not follow instructions.  He said the employee was probably going to get fired.  I said this employee is not going to get fired in my yard.  He said he understood.  Then I mentioned that my fireplace was not 8 feet wide. He apologized. He said he didn't notice.  He said they had to get going and could they come back on Saturday.  I am trying hard to be polite but some times it is hard to be polite.  He walked back to his truck where the other 3 fellows were waiting. I am standing on the sidewalk. All of a sudden two fellows burst out of the truck, start their chainsaws, and begin trimming the 8 foot lengths into smaller pieces.  Realizing I now had 4 agitated virile men on my property who were using chainsaws without eye protection, I decided to go into my house and lock the door. Ten seconds later there comes a knock on the door.  The arborist and the owner of the company are standing there. They apologize over and over and over.  After listening to apologies for 20 minutes while my roasted potatoes are burning in the oven, I tell them to STOP APOLOGIZING.  They want to know how to make it up to me. Why is it on me to figure this out?  I don't know how much that walnut lumber was going to be worth.  I give them their money and tell them I will get back to them on how they can make it up to me.  They want me to sign the work order.  The owner asks me the date today. I respond with, "IT'S VALENTINE'S DAY!"  They leave and I lock the door again.  I tell myself that if the  biggest problem in my life today is a tree, then life isn't so bad.  At 9:30 p.m. I text the owner and tell him I am a very unsatisfied customer.  He apologizes again.  The next day I text him and say he is going to come back and chip up that brush for me at no charge to me and he has to let me know when he is coming to do it so I can be there to supervise.  He agreed to that.  I wait until March 1st because I had not heard from him.  I text him again.  He says he can come at a certain day at 4:30.  I agree to this day and add that it needs to be done by 6 because I have to be somewhere. This was actually a lie.  I did not have to be anywhere.  I just didn't want to deal with him at sunset like I did last time.  On that day I get a series of texts from him and everyone of those text messages makes me more and more angry.  He wants to come at 7. He wants to come another day.  He wants me to call him. I call him and he says, "Just a minute," and proceeds to yell at his men while I wait there.  I hung up on him.  I ask a friend to come to my house at 4:30 for moral support and also to be a witness so I don't go too crazy on this arborist.  The arborist arrives at 4:30 and so does my friend.  By this time my anger is simmering but not boiling. The arborist asks if he can trim some of the branches in my driveway. I agree to that and I tell him besides chipping the branches he is now going to cut me 10 slices of a particular part of the trunk that are each 3 inches thick. I tell him he is going to have his finest arborist do the cutting.  He cuts the slices himself. I now. The wood is chipped.  My friend takes one of the slices to make a table top for herself. She helps me carry the other 9 pieces into my house to dry near the fireplace. Story to be continued.  Anyone interested is a black walnut slab table?