Tooth Economy

This weekend my offspring were giving me a hard time about our thrifty tooth fairy. I'm not sure why they were talking to me instead of the kindly tooth fairy who flew in every single night they lost a tooth and snuck into their rooms to remove the bloody dentin and replace it with cold hard cash but they were. I said (to keep the peace) that the tooth fairy would probably accept their tooth money back but they wanted no part of that. They thought the one or two quarters they got for each tooth was an unfairly low amount. Can you believe it? They said their friends got dollar bills or even five dollar bills for each tooth. The average kid looses 20 teeth and at $5 a time, that comes to $100. Anyway, on Tuesday as I was about to start my weekly weight lifting routine, I came upon a little boy. He had a orange shirt on with the letters "Bugs Rule." He was missing two lower teeth. I told him he looked pretty young for a weight lifter. He told me he lost a tooth that day. "Really, " I asked suddenly interested, "Is the tooth fairy coming to your house?" He said the tooth fairy would come tonight. I asked, "What will you get for your tooth?" He told me, "This is my second tooth that came out. For my first tooth I got some braknockcurlers under my pillow." So I said, "You got binoculars for loosing your tooth?" He said he did. "What will you get for this tooth?" I asked. He didn't know for sure but he thought it might be money. So I had to ask, "How much money do you think you'll get for your tooth?" He said "I hope three." I asked, "Three dollars?" He shook his head from side to side and said, "No, three cents."