Sunday, June 26, 2016

Unfuneral

Today I went to an unfuneral.  This was my first unfuneral so I wasn't sure how to handle myself.  "My condolences" doesn't seem right.  "Get well" is also wrong.  A friend of mine's husband is very ill and has decided to stop all his medications after today.  No one knows how long he will last without his medicine.  Several years ago he needed a kidney transplant.  Turns out my friend, his wife, was the perfect match for him.  She gave him one of her kidneys.  That was about the most romantic thing I ever heard.  So now, when he dies, a little bit of her will die with him.  I am sad for him and for her and their entire family but I was happy to go to the unfuneral.  He remembered me. I had only met him half a dozen times.  That was cool.  I wasn't sure what to wear.  For funerals most people wear black.  So for an unfuneral should I wear white?  Truth is I don't like black and don't usually wear black even to funerals.  I don't like white either.  I didn't want to be too casual.  This is this man's last party so I should dress up a little.  I decided to wear a form fitting kick-a$$ dress suitable for a Navy officer graduation ceremony.  I almost had to call a neighbor over to help me get into it.  But I managed.  I wore my dress proudly.  I shook his hand and we talked for a few minutes. People were laughing and talking.  Children were running around being crazy like children do. I reminisced with the future widow about some of the good old days we had together.  I admired the photos of them as a young couple and as new parents.  The situation was sad but fun too.  I said, "I don't know what to say but I'm glad to be here and I'm glad to see you and I wish you the best." I guess those words are of the "one size fits all" variety.

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