Squash

 Last week I baked a butternut squash.  I really struggle cutting a hard squash in half before baking it so this one I baked whole and that was a lot easier. I added nutmeg and cinnamon and butter and milk and a couple eggs and ate it in a casserole. Besides an acorn squash in the freezer I still have 8 squash left. Three of the squash I grew myself in my own garden.  I might get another squash tomorrow in my final box of vegetables from my CSA farmer.  So I had to do something to reduce the number of squash.  Squash has never been my favorite vegetable.  I do like a spicy squash soup and I have more than enough to make a lot of soup.  I took one of the home grown squash today and I made it into a cake. I found a recipe on line that called for one cup of grated squash. The cake turned out pretty tasty. I put a little extra ginger, cinnamon and allspice in it so it taste like a spicy spice cake. In any case, only 7 more squashes to go.

Walk for Hope

Today I went on an organized walk to support the Alexandria House. I think this is the third or fourth time I have done this walk at Bunker Hills Park in Coon Rapids.  Three of us walked together this time.  I got a free flu shot from the  Walgreens table.  I had about five layers on because I wanted to get warm and when I had to get down to the camisole layer for the nurse with the needle I had goose bumps on top of other goose bumps.   I  might look a little chubby in the photo because I got some other shirts for a couple of other coworkers who couldn't make it so instead of carrying them I put them on because I was so cold.  It was 38 degrees this morning!  We were freezing out there in the wind.  Some moments were especially sad. I groaned out loud when the name of a woman I worked with was read.  I had to cry.  I just had to. Then the music started playing.  Dogs were barking.  Babies were crying.  We soon cheered up and marched on the trails together talking and laughing and having a good old time.  I wish our society was different so we didn't have to have things like the Walk for Hope or the Alexandria House.

Pure Genius Observed

After work I went to the gym to swim a few laps and saw this. Pure genius I think.  If you can't ride two bikes at the same time, just strap the smaller one to the back of the bigger one.  I never would have thought of this myself.

Before I went to the gym I stopped by Coon Creek to monitor the water.  I can see my shadow in the water. The clarity was 78 which is good for this creek. The water temperature was 48. The flow was back to  normal after heavy rains earlier in the week. I see they are building new buildings in the marsh north of Highway 10 and Hanson Boulevard. I doubt the creek will improve because of the changes they are making in that swamp. 

I Don't Suck

On a whim I decided to take a community education class on how to play the harmonica blues. I bought a harmonica (10 hole in the key of G) in August but never tried blowing it until I got to the class.  I walk into the high school music room. My instructor is there with 9 other students. Three of us are female and the rest are males. We sit in chairs while we are told how to hold the darn thing in our left hand. Our instructor tells us to breathe through the instrument.  He tells us not to blow or suck but just to breathe. I do it and the sounds come out pretty nice.  After a while though you start to feel deprived of oxygen, as if swimming or suffering from bronchitis. When that happens we are to just drop our lower jaw and breathe in over the top of the harmonica.  He shows us how to hold it tilted downward so the saliva doesn't clog the reeds.  He asks us to practice playing the second hole and having just one note come out.  I try.  I get a chord. I can't get it. Other people are playing one note but not me.  He decided to go around the room and have each person try in by themselves and give individual instruction.  One guy gets it right away. Another man struggles for a long time. When he comes to me I am playing a chord. He suggests I pull the harmonica a little farther away from my mouth.  It works! I say, "I got it!" into the harmonica and that sounds really funny.  He shows us how to move back and forth on the harmonica by pushing it with our left or right hand.  He asks us to practice playing each note separately and then playing, "Mary Had A Little Lamb."  After class I go home and soon I can play each note separately. I can play "Mary Had A Little Lamb."  I look up other songs to play and soon I am playing "Turkey in the Straw" and "Swing Low Sweet Chariot."  I don't suck at the harmonica!  Fancy that!  I think I sound pretty good for a beginner.

Write To The River

The river calls me.

Come! Refresh yourself.

Observe my movements.

Allow time to pass by.

Send your troubles downstream

To calmer waters.

Jaguar Print Pants

A woman I knew died this morning. I have known her for thirty years. She had a unique communication style and she always seemed a little confused. She would repeat her stories and ask the same questions over again. Other people were highly annoyed by her but since she reminded me of my Aunt Geneva, I cut her slack. I would listen to her stories with patience.  I would answer the same question.  Sometimes I would throw in a compliment or a joke to change the pattern of her thinking and that was helpful.  She was a snappy dresser. Not everyone can wear jaguar print pants like she could. One day she needed a ride. I went to her house to pick her up.  By then she was using a cane.  I knocked on her door. She allowed me to come in and wait while she looked for her socks, shoes and purse. The house was cluttered.  A sign reading Uff Da! was hung on the wall above the couch. Norwegian style art covered the walls. Lace doilies or antimacassars were on the back of every chair.  When she was ready I helped her down the steps and into the car. Several inches of snow had fallen that morning.  Her street was plowed but the driveway was not.  I had to barrel through the snow bank to get in.  I wasn't sure I could get out again.  The street she lived on was busy.  Cars went by at 35 miles per hour.  I know I had to take a run at that snow bank to avoid getting stuck but that meant I couldn't really see if any cars were coming.  As I backed up I hesitated.  Then I said, "Hang on now, we're going out."  She hung on and I barreled the car backwards through the snow bank and cranked the wheel to the left so we could go east.  I said, "We made it!"  She said, "Yee Haw!"  We both laughed.  I drove her to her destination.  I dropped her off at the door and let her walk inside while I parked the car.  I came back and she was waiting for me with a smile on her face.  She was ever so grateful for the ride.  I will miss this woman and I am sure her family will miss her too. 

An Exciting Dawn of the Day

This morning I was walking around the house getting ready for work.  At about 5:30 a.m. I heard a barred owl hooting pretty close to my house, possibly just across the side street. The sun wasn't up yet but I went to the window anyway to look. Next I heard it hoot even closer. I am pretty sure it was in my yard on the east side of the lot. My eye brows went up. Next I heard it hoot from a spot on the west side of my yard. How exciting. The owl hooted again and at the same time another barred owl started making what I call the monkey sounds.  I had two barred owls in my yard this morning.  I turned on the flood light on the deck but did not see any owls. What was going on out there?  Was this an excited form of bonding going on?  Was it a couple or a parent/child out there? Why were they so excited by the dawn of this particular day?

National Public Lands Day

Today was a nice day to spend outside. I met my master naturalist friends at the Carpenter Nature Center near Hastings. I had never been there before and it is a beautiful place. I spent most of the day at tables. One table had Master Naturalist swag. I put loon temporary tattoos on many children; mostly on the arms or hands. I put one on my ankle. I put tattoos on a dozen adults too.  I am standing there holding a cold sponge on a handsome fellow's wrist thinking this was not such a bad gig! I spent time at the skull table helping people use a dichotomous key to figure out what skull they were looking at. Some kids are surprising smart. I stood by the geology table too watching kids look over the rocks.  One kid smelled the rocks so I smelled rocks too but couldn't tell the difference. Other friends were over at the herpetological table and that is the table that always get the most business.  Last year the herp table got so much business the grass was ruined so they had to put their table near the road to preserve the grass. The raptor center was there too releasing rehabilitated raptors. I saw three hawks get released. All three came to the raptor center in July, all three were male and all three were about a year old. I saw a red tailed hawk, a cooper's hawk and a broad wing hawk take off and fly over the Saint Croix River valley.  Turkey vultures and eagles were circling up there too and I was glad none of the  newly released hawks got taken by the eagle. One of the people who released a hawk was a man and his wife who volunteer at this nature center and have done that for the past twenty years. We got a wonderful free lunch and a National Public Lands Day tshirt. 3M had a booth there too and I got free duct tape and free packing tape. I think we talked a few people into joining the Master Naturalist group. The Wisconsin master naturalists were there too and that woman tried to talk me into joining her group - which I might some day but not soon.

Autumn

That time of year thou mayst in me behold
When yellow leaves, or none, or few, do hang
Upon those boughs which shake against the cold,
Bare ruined choirs, where late the sweet birds sang.
In me thou see’st the twilight of such day
As after sunset fadeth in the west;
Which by and by black night doth take away,
Death’s second self, that seals up all in rest.
In me thou see’st the glowing of such fire,
That on the ashes of his youth doth lie,
As the death-bed, whereon it must expire,
Consumed with that which it was nourish’d by.
This thou perceiv’st, which makes thy love more strong,
To love that well, which thou must leave ere long.
-William Shakespeare

Dear Mister M

Some of the characters in this book, Dear Mr. M, are downright creepy and stalkerish.  The story is set in the Netherlands at a high school.  One of the teachers is a Mr. Landzaat and Mr. Landzaat has serious boundary issues.  Mister M. isn't at the school but he writes a novel about what happened with Mr. Landzaat and several of the students. The narrator is a man who writes letters to Mister M. Information is doled out carefully and with precision by the author, Herman Koch. Despite the contemptible characters in the book, the interesting twist in the end makes it worth taking the time to read it.

Foraging!

This morning I looked out my bedroom window and saw a black capped chickadee in the black spruce that now resides too close to my house. The little chickadee grabbed a wild grape and popped it in it's mouth.  I didn't know I had wild grapes right there outside my window.  Sometimes I wish I was more observant.  On Sunday morning I mowed the lawn.  As I buzzed the grass next the apple tree I saw a beautiful Haralson apple hanging right there.  With one hand I plucked it off the tree and took a big bite. With apple juice running down my chin I mowed back and forth. I found not a single worm hole in this apple. When I passed the tree again I plucked another apple and stuck it in the pocket of my overalls for later.  By my driveway I have found several large sized puffball mushrooms. I read that if they are white they are edible.  I could try eating one of those. So far I have picked them up and rolled them like bowling balls down the driveway to watch them explode, break into pieces, and send a big puff of mushroom spores into the air.

A Lazy Sunday Afternoon

A Little Challenge

Which way do you like to do things?  Do you like the easy way or the hard way? I, myself, prefer both ways. I was thinking about this topic when I was hiking across Isle Royale with a lot of weight on my back.  This backpack camping was doing it the hard way.  But I still had fun.  Yesterday I biked from Saint Paul to Stillwater.  I could have driven my car to Stillwater.  I could have taken my motorcycle to Stillwater.  I could have kayaked to Stillwater from somewhere upriver.  I could have stayed home and not gone to Stillwater at all. Biking to Stillwater was hard but not as hard as walking to Stillwater.  I enjoyed the bike ride.  I was whistling songs to myself most  of the way. Why use a hand saw when you could use a chain saw?  Why ferment cabbage in the cupboard when you can buy a jar of sauerkraut at the store? Why paint the front door when I could hire someone to do it for me? After thinking about it I guess the premise of the question is wrong.  My decisions are not a  matter of easy or hard. I only have so much time to be alive so I want to spend my time on activities that give me pleasure.  Sometimes my pleasure comes from doing things in a more difficult way. I like a little challenge sometimes.

Constantly Evolving Work of Art

The sky was so pretty today.  White puffy clouds in various animal shapes floated by making the world above look like a constantly  evolving work of art.

A Mighty Fine Chicken

I got home after 6 o'clock tonight and went to check on my chickens. For some reason they keep moving the watermelon rind into the water bowl.  Maybe they prefer flavored water, I am not sure. In any case I was surprised to find 3 eggs in there. The blue egg at the bottom is from the Americauna chicken. The brown egg on the upper left is from Heckyl or Jeckyl, the cuckoo maran chickens.  On the right is a tan egg from my only remaining Buff Orpington, Chickenson Caruso.  In 2017 she laid a total of 6 eggs.  So far in the last six weeks she has laid another six eggs.  Why is she laying more eggs this year than last year? I am not sure but she is freaking amazing and I told her so. I hope this is a good thing for her. I remember once I had a plum tree in my back yard that was fairly old.  One summer that plum tree produced so many plums I ended up making jam with them all because I couldn't keep up eating them fresh. Over the next winter the plum tree died.  Some plants will put all their energy into reproduction when they sense the end is near.  I hope this is not the case with Chickenson Caruso because she is a mighty fine chicken.  She is more than six years old and she doesn't look a day over two years old.

The Company We Keep

I listened to The Company We Keep: A Husband-And-Wife True-Life Spy Story. One chapter was red to me by Robert (Bob) Baer and the next by Dayna Baer. I think it's always interesting to hear the author read the book to me.  Bob and Dayna met in Bosnia where they were both working for the Central Intelligence Agency. They were spies.  They led lives of adventure and intrigue while although exciting, is hard on the relationships a person has with the people who really matter. If a person doesn't take the time to nuture a relationship, to invest time and effort, the connection can wither and die like a pumpkin on a vine during a drought. I never thought of being a spy myself. I am not a good liar and I definitely do not have a poker face. Both of the Baers decided their spying career was a time-limited occupation and have left the business now.

My Defintion of a Good Day

Today was a perfect September day and I took full advantage of the nice weather.  I did some house work, some yard work,some chicken care, some cooking and some organizing.  After that I took my kayak out and put it in the Mississippi River at the weigh station park in Ramsey.  I had to drag it across the lawn from the parking lot, down a path through the oak trees covered with acorns, and down to the shore.  As I got in a man and two children came though the woods. They were at the park for a family reunion.  They left the party to go exploring. One of the children was an eight year old girl wearing Minnie Mouse ears. She looked at me as if I was an alien from outer space.  I explained to her that I was going to explore too but in the water instead of on the shore. The family moved on and I managed to get in the kayak without getting wet.  I paddled upstream.  I paddled past the picnic shelter where the family reunion was being held. I could hear them listening to a football game on a radio. This would be a great spot to have a family reunion someday.  I paddled past a house. A belted kingfisher moved upstream along with me.  A family of wood ducks flew over my head.  Bugs that walk on water were all over the place.  I had a hat on so I couldn't see up very well. The water had ripples over a rocky part of the river. I clung to the east bank and made my way farther up. I went by another house and was paddling hard when I looked again and the house had not moved at all.  I was paddling hard and only staying in place! What the heck?  I poured on the power and maneuvered closer to the shore line and finally I got past that house. Huge granite rocks littered the river bed. Some of the boulders showed above the water line. I could see by the stain on the tree trunks that this river was a good six feet higher than it is today. I saw about forty tree swallows circling above my head. I kept paddling until I saw the roof of a huge house on the Dayton side of the river.  I think I was near where the Crow River comes into the Mississippi when I quit paddling and just floated. The river turned my kayak in a complete circle and I was looking upriver again.  I had already seen this view plus I wanted to keep an eye on those boulders so I used my paddle as a rudder to turn myself around.  I saw the belted kingfisher fly off a dead branch and splash into the water after a fish. I couldn't see if the kingfisher got a fish or not. No other boats were on this stretch of the river.  I had the entire Mississippi River to myself. I wondered how many more times I would be in this boat this year. Before I knew it I floated past the family reunion and was back to where I put in.  I landed my boat, threw the paddle on the shore, and got out without falling.  Success!  I pulled the little boat up the hill crunching the acorns.  Pulling it across the mowed lawn was easy and I loaded the boat into my car and drove home.  At home I put the kayak in the garage, changed clothes, and hopped on the motorcycle.  I biked to the gym for a quick workout and home again. My definition of a good day now includes using a kayak and a motorcycle on the same day.

Thirty Years Old!

Yesterday I went to a birthday party for someone turning 30. That triggered a memory of my 30th birthday.  I remember it was a Saturday. I was feeling pretty good.  I was pregnant for the first time so I felt physically great as my body got bigger and bigger. By my birthday I was 7 months pregnant. No stretch marks had appeared yet. I remember I was wearing maternity jeans with a stretch panel at the belly.  On the back pockets of these maternity jeans silver threads made a star shape.  Normally I do not like my back side to be glittery or to attract attention but these jeans fit and I was only going to wear them for a short time. I remember the top I was wearing. This top was a wine colored plaid woven top with short puffy sleeves and a scoop neck with white trim. The top wasn't a maternity top but it had plenty of room so I was wearing it.  Because I was having a bad hair day I wore a neckerchief folded into a triangle over my hair and tied behind my neck. The day seemed ordinary with one exception.  My spouse was cleaning the house. We lived in a twin home at the time.  He was cleaning the lower level and kept at it for over an hour. This was unusual behavior.  I thought about questioning him about it but decided to let sleeping dogs lie cleaning spouses clean. At five in the afternoon the doorbell rang.  I opened it. There were two friends at the door with food and beer in their hands. I wasn't expecting them but oh, well, I let them in.  Twenty minutes later the doorbell rang again.  Here was another couple carrying food and beer. I am not the sharpest tool in the shed but it dawned on my a party was happening right now at my house and for me. My first thought was I looked terrible.  I was not dressed for a party. I dismissed that thought and had a great evening. How many people came?  I am not sure but I think between 20 and 30 people came over. After the party I remember we had to replace our plastic laundry tub because it had broken when someone dropped a keg into it.  Also, I remember people standing on top of my washer and dryer next to the laundry tub. The guy standing on the laundry machines was from Saint Cloud. He was a really smart guy with a huge vocabulary.  I didn't know him well but I knew he was smart. I remember feeling good that night, surrounded by people there for my honor. Even though my memory of that day has faded, I am sure I had a good 30th birthday.

Silver Soldier

When I was a child we went to a dentist in White Bear Lake. Dr. Raykowski had an office in his house. His wife was the receptionist and assistant. When we went on Saturday mornings Dr. Raykowski saw me and my four sisters plus my five cousins.  All ten cousins had exams and work done before noon.  Dr. Raykowski had very thick fingers. He always washed his hands with soap before he looked in my mouth.  I think he used Palmolive Gold soap. Dr. Raykowski did not believe in novacaine.  He thought he couldn't insure a good bite when the patient was all numbed after the filling was in so he didn't use novacaine. When I did need a filling he called them silver soldiers. So yesterday as I was in the dental chair, all numbed up, I was thinking about him as I was having the silver soldier he put in drilled out and another one put installed.  If this silver soldier lasts as long as the other one did, I'll be in good shape.  I left the dental office yesterday feeling numb and wishing I could have a toy from a toy closet like Dr. Raykowski had.

A Boat Load of Carrots

Normally I pick up my CSA (consumer supported agriculture) box on Monday. Because of Labor Day I picked it up today.  I got a boat load of carrots, a few pounds of purple potatoes, four peppers, 8 roma tomatoes, a butternut squash, and a large seedless watermelon (not in the picture). What do I do with all these vegetables?  The tomatoes and peppers are not a problem for me. But who eats 4 pounds of carrots per week?  The weather is turning colder.  Perhaps carrot soup would be good. I can eat an entire watermelon by myself. My chickens love it when they get the rind. I am going to a party this Saturday.  Perhaps I can bring something fresh and delicious.  I have to do something because come Monday afternoon I will get another box of vegetables.

Buck Thorn Berries

On Labor Day I had only four items on my to do list.  I wanted to buy one item, buy another item, install an item I had already bought and exercise. Well, I got half the items accomplished because I got distracted. What distracted me was a bunch of buck thorn berries in my woods to the east of my house.  This area had already been cleared of buck thorn five years ago but it was back again.  I went to get my saw and my poison. I had other things to do but I thought I would take down one tree today.  Just one tree I said.  I cut down the tree. I applied the blue poison to the stump and said aloud, "Suck it." Then I proceeded to pick all the berries off the branches.  My hands got full of berries so I had to get a bag out of the trash to  hold them all.  Purple buck thorn berry juice stained my hands and forearms. Some of the berries were still unripe and green but most of them were bursting with juice. 

Some of the berries fell on my mowed path and I let those stay because I mow there. I got two cups of berries from that one tree that was about ten feet high.  I went back into the house to do my other duties but later I got distracted again.  This time I cut down four buck thorn trees.  I bought a five gallon pail to collect these berries. Oh, golly, there were so many berries.  I poisoned all the stumps.  I threw the berries into the garbage. This buck thorn can be so discouraging some times but hopefully my efforts made some difference. Later I spied another buck thorn that grew under where I had the canoe stored and right next to the wood chuck den.  I cut that one down too even though it didn't have any berries. I thought about what I could do with all these berries.  I could make buck thorn jelly but I doubt that would be healthy because buck thorn berries give people the trots, the cha cha's, and an urgent need to empty the bowels. Throwing them in the trash seemed like a better choice.

No One Is Perfect I Guess

I was late planning the annual canoe trip down the Saint Croix river this year. June was rainy and the river was flooded.  July was the same way. In August finally the river went down far enough to make it safe to travel but then I got busy. Anyway, we went yesterday. Only two people went this year but we still had a ton of fun. Rain poured down on us as we traveled east. We got to Taylor's Falls about 11 o'clock. The handsome young man said it would not rain on us as he rented us one kayak. I chose to believe him. We left the park about 11:20. The water was cold and the river was flowing fast. I asked Offspring #2 if the sand bar would be visible at our traditional lunch spot.  Offspring #2 said it would not be visible which turned out to be correct.  I like to linger by these huge rock cliffs. I find it so peaceful to be on the water next to a giant rock slab. There were maybe a dozen people renting boats on the river today. We paddled by one young man who was slathering his chest with sun block. That was an awkward moment. The sky was overcast. Once in a while the wind blew pretty hard pushing us back up river but then the wind would slow down.  We saw a green heron, some vultures, an eagle, a kingfisher, and a great blue heron. We saw the bridge indicating the Osceola landing way before we thought we would. As I got out of my kayak in Osceola I lost my balance and sat down in the sand.  I said out loud, "I fell on my but in the sand." A man was standing right there looking at his phone. When he heard what I said he panicked and ran over to help me.  I was able to get up on my own but the poor fellow kept apologizing. It wasn't his fault I fell on my but in the sand. No damage though except some sandy pants. We ate lunch in Osceola at 1:15. We weren't sure if we were doing the 3 hour trip or the 6 hour trip.  Since the 3 hour trip took only 2 hours we decided to do the 6 hour trip. We went past many campsites on the river.  Someday I would like to camp overnight on this river. We heard the train so we knew we were approaching the train bridge. No ospreys were on the bridge but the nest, in the center of the bridge, looked to be falling apart.  I suppose the vibrations of the train knock some sticks off the nest. As soon as we came into the private property section of the river I realized I needed a restroom. Poor timing on my part there. We did find a new landing that had an outhouse so we stopped there.  A couple of people were loading their boats into trucks and trailers.  One pair of kayakers said they had put in at  William O'Brien.  I asked them how much further we had to go and they said we would be there in a half hour. That would put us at 4 o'clock and the first shuttle wasn't until 5:40. As soon as we came to the park boundary we stopped paddling and just drifted down river. We commented on the beautiful cardinal flowers. I became so relaxed I got a little bit sleepy. We floated by the big pine tree by the group camp where my nephews climbed so high I freaked out.  We floated by the giant boulder.  I saw a little girl on the boulder and she saw me too.  I said, 'Oh, you are on the giant boulder."  She nodded her head in agreement. I floated by the park bench where a man and woman sat together. We floated by some people fishing for walleyes. We floated slowly and came to the place to get out.  Offspring #2 and I waited for the shuttle bus for about 45 minutes giving us time to eat our snacks and refill our water jugs. I took the shuttle bus by myself. I guess we were the only ones to make it this far.  The driver said there should be more in Osceola and we did pick up 15 or so people.  When I got back to my car in Taylor's Falls I saw I got a ticket for an expired park sticker.  Shucks! The sticker was punched in September so I figured it was good.  I tried to pay the ticket at Interstate park but the office was closed.  I drove to William O'Brien and picked up Offspring #2 and the kayak. That park office was open so I went in to pay my fine.  I met a ranger there that I had met the previous weekend so that was a little embarrassing.  She told me my park sticker expired a year ago in September.  I have been camping illegally for an entire year! Oh, fer crying out loud. I apologized.  I bought a new sticker. What else could I do? No one is perfect I guess.   

Peaches!

Yesterday I saw a big crowd at a local pharmacy. The Anoka High School Marching Band trailer was there. Students were holding up cardboard peaches. Ah, peaches, I love peaches. After lunch I went back and bought a box of Washington peaches.  I brought them home.  I ate one. Delicious! I cooked 15 peaches with a lemon, some grated ginger, and a boatload of sugar. Now I  have peach jam and I still have a half dozen fresh peaches to eat. Let me know if you want some peach jam.  I can hook you up.

Smokey's Pants Fall Down!

On Friday Offspring #2 and I went to the Minnesota State Fair.We got free tickets because we signed up to be Smokey the Bear.  I took the 11-1 shift and Offspring #2 took the 1-2 pm shift. After viewing Johnny, the biggest pig, some other farm animals, and a showing of alpacas we headed over to the International Village for breakfast.  I had Lo Mein and Offspring #2 had fried rice. As we sat at the picnic table Offspring #2 suddenly yelled the name of her uncle. There he was with his son walking by. They joined us.  Soon another sibling came with one of her offspring and two offspring of a different sibling. Then came another offspring of another sibling with her friend. It was an impromptu family reunion.  We had to get going to be ready for our shift.  I met two people I knew outside the DNR building. One I knew from work and the other one organized the awesome camping trip I went on a week ago.  We went upstairs and signed in to do our job.  I donned Smokey's big pants and his hairy legs.  I put on the vest with the eight pockets that held freezer packs.  Then Offspring #2 put the torso over my head. As I reached my hands into Smokey's paw I noticed one of my fingers came through.  Oh, this wasn't good. Smokey should not be flipping anybody the bird. Offspring #2 noticed that the pants did not match the torso. The pants had six pieces of velcro but the torso only had two pieces of velcro.  One of the DNR workers came over.  It was Janine! This is the woman about whom I had extremely strong feelings two years ago when I tried to sign up for the frog and toad survey.  She spoke to me about going across the street to the Kare 11 booth and being on television with the Minnesota Wild mascot.  For the life of me I could not process what she was saying because she was Janine! The Minnesota Wild?  What is that? Soccer? Football?  I could not think but I smiled and nodded my head as if everything she was saying was being processed in my brain. I descended the steps and put on the Smokey head and hat and went out there to enjoy one of my favorite hours of the year.  I started waving immediately.  Kids came to get hugs.  Adults came for selfies. Offspring #2 helped me out and gave away Smokey the Bear swag to the children.  I heard someone say, "Smokey's pants are falling down."  Suddenly Offspring #2 is grabbing my belt and Janine is grabbing my crotch.  It is time for me to go across the street to the Kare 11 stage. Janine says she is going to get some pins to keep my pants up.  Offspring #2 leads me across the street. Kids want hugs but are told Smokey has to do some PR work now and will be back soon.  I feel my belt being pulled up again and I step up on the curb.  I see the other mascot and it is a couple feet taller than I am. I hear music and start dancing. Offspring #2 whispers to me that if I dance my pants will fall down again so please stand still.  I can't stand still. I am Smokey the Bear.  I try to dance from the waist up.  I am led into a big room.  People are sitting on bleachers looking at the stage.  Someone hands me a fly fishing rod so I hold that.  I start to walk forward to wave at the people in the bleachers. I feel someone holding me back. Offspring #2 has me by the belt and pulls me backward so I don't walk in front of the television camera.  Suddenly Janine is back. She and Offspring #2 are grabbing my torso and my belt trying to pin my pants up. I try to stand still so I don't get poked but it is hard for a bear to stand still in front of an audience.  I am led to the stage. There are two steps up to get on the stage. I am told to go up the steps. I am told to stay on the floor. Later I am told to go up the steps.  I grab arms and go up the steps.  People are reading the weather report. A group of kids is on the stage and the meteorologist goes from person to person as they predict each hour at a time.  I try to stand still so as not to take the attention away from the weather readers.  Eventually the weather report is over.  I leave the stage and go back to the DNR grounds where Smokey the Bear belongs.  I love being Smokey.  As I walk around the fish pond we meet one family with two young children.  The father gives me a creepy vibe when he says he has his bear license and is going hunting next week.  I walk away from that guy. When my hour is up I reluctantly go in the stairwell and Offspring #2 removes my head.  I chug down some water and walk up the stairs in my big feet.  I learn that my pants are pinned on with state fair buttons. Smokey had state fair buttons around his belt loops pinned into his fur.  That had to look funny.  We put the clothes away and we have about a half hour to eat before it is time to suit up again. For lunch I have risotto poppers and Offspring #2 had earth wings (deep fried cauliflower with BBQ sauce). Then Offspring #2 puts on the costume. This time they want Smokey to enter a fly fishing contest with a Wild player at the DNR stage.  By now I understand that Wild is a hockey team. The idea is to land the pink fly at the end of the line between two pieces of PVC pipe shaped like a "V." The game is rigged. Smokey's rod doesn't have enough line out to even make it to the V.  I shout encouragement like, "Close!  Move a little to the left." Smokey can't even see what Smokey is doing but tries hard waving the fly rod back and forth through the air.  I see that one of the safety pins we used to keep Smokey's pants up has sprung open. A sharp pin shines in the dark brown fur.  I fix the safety pin as discretely as I can. Eventually the contest is over and I lead Smokey over to the fish pond. I give away all the Smokey swag pretty quickly but I am still carrying the empty red bucket. Three times people tried to put dollar bills into the bucket.  They think I am collecting money for Smokey the Bear!  I tell them I am not collecting money and sorry for the misunderstanding.  Smokey is not a panhandler for crying out loud but this does give me an idea for a future way to make a living. The safety pin snaps open again and I fix it again.  Smokey takes a break to drink some Gatorade and I try my best to pin those jeans up securely. We go back outside for more hugs and pictures.  The pin breaks again.  We decide to hang it up a little bit early because those pants will just not stay up.  Inside the building we talk to another volunteer who was Smokey the Bear earlier in the week.  His pants fell down during the parade. For the entire fair the pants on Smokey have been falling down.When they had the suits dry cleaned the torso's got stored with the wrong pants.  The correct pants are in a trailer somewhere on the fair grounds but no one goes to get them. One would think the people who work there would solve this problem or at least tell the volunteers about it before they go out in public in the inadequate costume.  Why not go out and buy a set of diaper pins and set them beside the costume with a note explaining the situation.  I do not know.  After filling out water bottles we sign out and leave the DNR building.  We wander up the hill drinking water and making plans.  The parade goes by so we watch the parade. Some of the high school band members look so sad as they walk by I suspect the entire unit is depressed. I wave at the people in the parade anyway. As we approach the creative arts building we see my brother in law and nephew again.  We talk for a time before separating. We enjoy the 4H displays.  I wish I knew how to sew so I could make a quilt someday. We see the blue ribbon winners of jellies and pies and cookies. I am suddenly hungry for a cookie. We wander through the fine arts building. We decide to have a slice of pizza.  I find it hard to walk and eat so I sit on a park bench to eat my pizza. Two people I know from work walk by so we talk to them for a time.  We decide we'd like to sit and listen to music so we go to the Leinie lodge to relax for a spell.  Offspring #2 has a beer and I have a dry red wine. We enjoy the music. I text my brother and he is at the fair too. Suddenly my niece appears so we walk with her to find her father. We meet up with him at the administration building. I pose for a photo in the back seat of the squad looking sad as if I had been arrested.  After chatting for a time the three of us walk around.  We share some french fries.  I am not really hungry but, you know, hot french fries right there - we might as well eat them while they are hot. We shop for a time but don't find anything worth buying. We stop to watch a percussion/tap dancing couple of men perform. The two men are great but the children in the audience as fun to watch too.  The two year olds are throwing a beach ball back and forth. Sometimes the music makes them try to dance and they are simply adorable. A barefoot little girl with dark hair dances by herself. A three year old boy with green shoes and a green shirt dances too. A two year old blond girl with pig tails sticking out of her head gets tired of dancing. She lies down on the cement on her side and rests. By now we have been at the fair for eleven hours.  The clouds in the sky look ominously ready to rain. We decide to take the bus back to our car. Our niece wants to stay for three more hours so she heads over to a dining hall where a friend of hers is working.  Except for the pants falling down we had a great day at the fair!