I am Feeling My Age

I had a dream that I was at a church. The woman pastor was a lady from my book club. The church was near my house but also in Lutsen. I read that dreams are just random images firing in the brain that we try to string together into a story. The dream ended with me leaving the church. There were only 5 or so stairs but as I stepped down, the stairs multiplied into dozens and dozens of stairs. I stepped down and I felt no pain. I liked that so I put a little jaunt in my step. Still I felt no pain. So I lept down a step. No pain. So I jumped down a step. No pain. So I danced down a bunch a steps. It was wonderful. I was airborne between stairs. I was moving down the stairs like a dancing gazelle ballerina. I didn't want to wake up from that dream. I guess I am feeling my age.

In Living Color

The Flintstones was the first television show I ever saw in color. I remember it vividly. My family went to visit a friend of my father. They had color television and we didn't. It was one of those families whose kids' names all started with the same letter. I suppose people are overwhelmed by all the name choices and decide to downsize the market by sticking with only one of the 26 letters. Anyway, the Flintstones came on. I have always loved the Flintstones. Don't you just love Wilma's hair? I love the orange swirl over her forehead and the matching swirls over each ear. I wonder how she does it. Plus her white pearl necklace with the off the shoulder scalloped white gown with fitted waist really shows off her little arms and legs. She looks so petite next to king-sized Fred. He looks very manly in his orange, um, dress? Ok, maybe his attire isn't so manly but that beard is manly. Wait, why doesn't he have sideburns? And what about the back of his head? Does he have a poor barber? Alopecia problems? Offspring #1's first word was Wilma. He had these cute-as-can-be footed pajamas with Wilma on the shoulder (hand-me-downs from older cousin). Before I put him to bed I would point to Wilma on his pj's and say, "Wilma!!!" just like Fred does at the end of the show when he gets locked out of the house by the cat. I think that is why his first word was Wilma. I wonder what Offspring #1 thought I meant when I said, "Wilma." Maybe he thought I was saying, "Go to bed you little man," or "I've had a day and I can't take anymore," or "I love you to the moon and back." I hope it was the last definition because it was the first thing he chose to say back to me.

Hell on Earth

Last night at the fair we visited the Miracle of Birth center. In the large and fertile building are animals who just gave birth, are giving birth at the moment, or will give birth soon. They had cows, sheep, ducks, chickens and pigs. There were more pigs than any other kind of animal. These mother pigs were laying in farrowing pens. Farrowing pens are used prior to and for 21 days after the mother gives birth. Here is a picture:

We saw quite a few pigs in farrowing pens. Some were lying with their little piglets. At first glance the scene seems maternal and quaint. As I watched I got less comfortable. Some of those piglets are very rough on their mother. They poke their piglet snouts into her side about 25 times before grasping the nipple and sucking. They yank on her. The piglets pull the teat to the right and to the left. I saw one pig try and move away from the greedy piglets because they were being, well, piggish. She can't move. The farrowing pens prevent her from moving. She can't roll over. She can barely stand. She can't move forward or backward. The farrowing pens prevent piglets from becoming pork pancakes but the poor Momma Pig can't catch a break. I felt so bad for the pig that I couldn't watch her anymore. I moved onto the next pig. This pig hadn't given birth yet. She looked uncomfortable. She sounded uncomfortable. She might have been in labor. She was trying to stand in her farrowing pen. She got her southern end up but her head and shoulders were still on the cage floor. Wow, pigs have long backs. Anyway, I watched her try to get comfortable. She ended up flopping back down on the floor. I felt a huge rush of sympathy for this pig. I remember giving birth. I wasn't at my best. I would hate to be confined in a farrowing pen and on display. I cannot imagine anything worse except to have to stay in that same pen for 21 freaking days with a dozen piggy piglets molesting and pulling at me. I would loose my mind. Hell on earth is at the Minnesota State Fair - Miracle of Birth building. I am grateful I'm not a pig on display. I'm grateful I'm not pregnant and never gonna be pregnant again. I'm grateful I am a vegetarian.

Greg Brown Was Cooking Last Night

Greg Brown was cooking last night. The concert was awesome. The rain was light before the concert and gone by the time the concert started. I was glad because umbrellas would have obstructed my view of the stage. Greg plays guitar. There were two other guitars, a drummer and a electric harmonica/electric accordion player. What kind of music does Greg Brown play? Prior to the concert I would have said he was a folk singer. After the concert I would still put folk first but would have to add blues, rock and country. Greg Brown is hard to categorize. His voice is definitely baritone. There is something about a man's voice going so low it barely sounds human that thrills me. The guitar riffs were great. I have never heard blues solo electric accordion riffs before but they were smoking last night. Wow. We left at 10 and I was home by 11 but I've been dragging all day. Am I too old for weeknight concerts? Should I join AARP? I don't really want to know your answer to that last one unless you are going to say, "Oh, no, absolutely not, you are way too young for AARP."

School Days

I enjoy learning. I get a thrill when the latest edition of the community education bulletin comes out. This year I am taking some new courses. I signed up to make a fall grapevine wreath, a winter container garden, and a kissing ball (looks Christmassy but is not mistletoe). I signed up for creative writing at the Loft Literary Center. The class at the Loft is during the day and not in the evenings. I am continuing my book club which is also through community education. This will be enough for me this fall. I have enough to keep me pleasantly busy. And I don't have to wear a brown plaid jumper uniform with a short sleeved white blouse, peter pan collar, brown oxfords and white bobby socks.

Taking Care of Business

Thanks to offspring #2 for mowing the lawn today. Oh, it smells good and looks nice. She helped me clean up some fallen trees yesterday. The yard is looking respectable again. Only one more month before I can mow again.

The Two Faces of Jeff Daniels

Two Thumbs Up for "The Squid and the Whale," a dramatic movie about the failure of a marriage. The subtly acrimonius atmosphere during the split has poisonous effects on the two sons. The character played by Jeff Daniels was pure toxin. He played an miserable and angry character. After I finished the movie, I flipped through channels as I brushed my teeth and I came across the end of 101 Dalmations. I could not believe my eyes. There was Jeff Daniels again only this time he played a man who is so nice he takes in 84 orphaned dalmation puppies. The contrast of the two characters made my head spin.

Stop By My House For Desert

During this time of year I have deer stopping in my yard for desert. Last night there were 3 deer. One was so young I could see the spots in the fur that were fading and blurring into a tawny hide. The other two were older. One had golden fur. The other was more of a gray/gold mix. They were eating apples that had fallen. The dog and I came out on the deck to watch them eat. The older two deer moved on slowly but the youngest ate while we watched. As the young deer chewed, an apple fell off the tree and landed right next to him or her. She or he looked a little surprised but kept on chewing. I don't care if they eat the apples. I would rather they didn't eat the tomatoes or the pumpkins or the flowers though.

Nine Days And Counting

The last time I lived alone was in 1978 in an efficiency apartment on Minnehaha just west of Payne Avenue in St. Paul - right by the Hamm's Brewery. I had a cute place there with my own entrance, my own porch, a back door off the kitchen, a window in the bathroom, and a living room/bedroom with wood floors. I still had my orange couch then that folded flat into a most uncomfortable bed.

Rain

Spring Rain

by J. Patrick Lewis

I puddle up the neighborhood

I make the mailman mad

I wake the worm and spank the frog

Sleeping on his lily pad

And when the tulips in their beds

Nod happily, it's true,

I shake the petals of their hands

And say, How do you dew?

Going to the Fair

We're going to hear Greg Brown perform at the Leinie Lodge at the state fair on Tuesday, 8/28. I think he starts at 6 or 7. Here are the lyrics to one of my favorite songs that he performs:

"Brand New '64 Dodge" Money comes out of Dad's billfold. Hankies come out of Mom's purse. The engine hardly makes a sound even when you put it in reverse. It's got a push-button transmission,hardtop convertible, 4-door. It's November of '63 and the brand new Dodge is a '64. And we're rolling slow down Main Street - the asphalt and gravel crunch. Church is finally over and we're going to have our Sunday lunch. And then I will play football with my buddies down in park. Later I'll dream about my girlfriend as I lie alone in the dark. She's got short red hair and blue eyes and her swimsuit's also blue and her little brother is retarded, but Jesus loves him, too. And Jesus loves our president, even though he is a Catholic. There's a lot for a boy to think about as he walks along the railroad tracks. And my sister won't get carsick 'cause we're going only half a mile and the car still has that new car smell and dad looks like he might smile and the world is big and full of Autumn and I'm hungry as can be and we're in our brand new '64 Dodge November of '63

Come and meet us at the fair!

I was hoping for ORANGE but I am blue

http://www.blogthings.com/whatcolorcrayonareyouquiz/

The Wiz

Two Thumbs up for THE WIZ starring Diana Ross, Michael Jackson, Nipsy Russel and Lena Horne. Wow, Diana Ross is beautiful. How did I miss that before? I look at her now and I can see that her natural beauty is truly remarkable. Maybe I am more appreciative of beauty now than I used to be. She can dance. She can sing. She can act. She has boatloads of talent. I thoroughly enjoyed this movie. I will pay more attention to Diana Ross in the future. I was slightly disappointed that this movie ended before Dorothy saw her family again. I wanted to see her recognize the scarecrow, tin man and cowardly lion again. But this movie had an ending scene that the traditional Wizard of Oz did not. This movie had a final dancing scene in a factory with about 30 dancers dancing between tables. The women wore bikinis and the men wore thongs. The dancing was incredible. Oh, to be able to move like that again! Any any movie featuring a dog that looks like my dog will be a favorite with me. I love Michael Jackson too. Two thumbs up for the Wiz!

Up and Away

Two thumbs up for the movie "Up and Away." This is a Czech film from 2004. It was the official Czech Republic entry for the 2004 Academy Awards. If you are looking for entertainment with a dose of foreign culture rent this movie. The plot involves separate groups of intriguing characters whose lives intersect and go separate ways again.

Make Mountains Out Of Molehills

Today I was walking through the back yard and stomping down mole hills. I tried to follow the path the mole took. I tried to imagine why the mole turned left, right, or went straight. What motivates a mole to make corners or stay on a straight path? I've read the moths fly following scent trails through the air. Moles can't see, right? So what sense are they using when they dig? Their choices are touch, scent, taste, or hearing. Why is the mole digging by the pond? Why did it leave the garden and head west? Which way will it go next? Most days I would stomp the mole hills and walk on by. Today I stopped to wonder about moles and their lives. When I study nature I feel very relaxed and peaceful. Sometimes it is a good thing to make mountains out of mole hills.

Old Habits Die Hard

On Wednesday I listened to the Minnesota State Band play at the Como Pavilion. I arrived early and sat near the paddleboat vendor to wait for my friends to arrive. I was enjoying the scenery when I noticed a man at a table nearby. The man was about 25 years old with neatly styled dark hair. He was sitting with his back to me talking with a woman in her 40’s. He was smoking cigarettes.. He smoked one cigarette after another. He kept the pack in his front pocket. Except for the smoking habit, he looked very healthy. He was trim and fit and well dressed. He was very clean except he kept pulling cancerous, polluted air deep into his bronchi. His smoking bothered me. I was far enough away to avoid the scent. I was bothered by his choices. I used to smoke too. I smoked 1 ½ packs a day. I smoked Old Gold Lights and Marlboro lights (the hard pack). When I quit smoking cartons cost $4.00. I bought by the cartons. I thought 50 cents was way too much money to put into a cigarette vending machine. I was the kind of smoker who always had smokes on hand. I never had to bum a cigarette from others. I didn’t want to run out. I haven’t had a cigarette for almost 26 years. My quit smoking date is December 24, 1981. I went to the doctor that day for another ear infection. I was having ear infections all the time. The doctor said, “How can you expect to not have ear infections when you are drawing smoke into your head?” I cried the day I quit smoking. I smoked the last cigarette in the last package out of the last carton. I washed out the ashtray. I walked around the house putting all the ashtrays and lighters and matches into a box with tears running down my cheeks. Since stores were closed on Christmas Eve, I thought it would be easier to quit because I couldn’t go and buy some more. I mourned my habit. I loved smoking and I knew I was going to miss it. I promised myself I could have one cigarette on the next Christmas Eve if I didn’t have any before then. I wasn’t quitting forever, just for a year. When the year was up, I knew I was still addicted and if I had one puff on a cigarette, I would be hooked again. So I didn’t smoke a cigarette the next Christmas Eve. I held one as it burned. I was fascinated and thrilled just holding a burning cigarette again. I held a burning cigarette on Christmas Eve for several years. Craving cigarettes was a daily experience. When I got a bad craving (usually when driving) I would combat the craving by pretending to smoke. I would light an imaginary cigarette and puff on it, tap the ashes in the ashtray, and eventually stub it out. Performing that set of behaviors satisfied me. I know that sounds crazy but it helped me. Pretending to smoke was a better choice than actually smoking. Sometimes, even now, when I leave the house I check my pockets to make sure I got my cigs and matches. I haven’t had a cigarette craving for over a year now and this has been my longest stretch without a craving. For the past 15 years, my cravings are minimal and kick in only when I am driving and I see someone standing outside enjoying a smoke. The craving only lasts for a second or two but they hit me hard. The craving is like a physical reflex. A signal runs from my brain and courses through me. My thought process doesn’t have time to react. By the time I think the reflex is gone. I still miss smoking. Work breaks are not as much fun without a cigarette. I miss the camaraderie of the smokers group. I miss nicotine. I miss the behaviors of smoking. I was an excellent smoker. I could blow smoke rings. I could light a kitchen match on my thumbnail.

I wish that man could stop smoking. I don't know if this is true but I heard that cigarettes are manufactured to be more addictive now than they were back when I smoked. He might struggle more than I did to quit.

Here is a link to one of my favorite bloggers about smoking.
http://scienceblogs.com/thecheerfuloncologist/2007/08/post_106.php#more

Be Who You Are

Be who you are
Say what you feel.
Because those who mind don't matter,
And those who matter don't mind.

Frog-Eyed Salad

1/2 package (8oz) Acini di Pepe uncooked

1 egg

1/2 cup sugar

1 TB flour

1/4 tsp salt

1 (15 1/4 oz) can juice-pack crushed pineapple, drained, reserving juice

1 (16 oz) can fruit cocktail, drained

1 cup miniature marshmallows

1 cup whipping cream, whipped

Cook pasta according to package directions. In a heavy saucepan, beat egg with wire wisk until foamy. Stir in sugar, flour, salt and reserved pineapple juice. Over low heat, cook and stir until thickened and bubbly. In a large bowl, combine pasta with egg mixture. Chill thoroughly, about 1 hour. Stir in pineapple, fruit cocktail and marshmallows. Fold in whipped cream. Cover; chill thoroughly. Stir before serving.

Try Another Way

I read an article in the newspaper about hanging clothes on a clothesline about a year ago. The article listed the ways people hang their clothes. This article opened my eyes to another way to do a mundane weekend chore. I had always hung the clothes on the line according to destination. Pillowcases naturally are hung next to the sheets, kitchen towels separate from bathroom towels, etc. I checked with other clothesline users that I knew. One of my sisters has a line for each member of the family (5). Kid's clothes go on the outside lines and her clothes are on the inside - hidden from view. I asked around but I have yet to meet a "sort by color" clothes line artist. Today I tried another way. I started off with a teal shirt, followed by a teal sundress and then my green and blue robe. Next came a pink bathroom towel, a pink sleeveless top, a pink gown followed by another pink towel (gotta have balance). Here I faltered for a bit before choosing orange pants, brown pants followed by some blues (cutoffs, blue dress, blue shirt). An offspring needed a ride to work so we had to hurry. She helped me hang socks and kitchen towels and they aren't up right. Horrors! Socks in between kitchen towels and socks again - it's just not right but I don't care enough to go out and fix it.

M - M - M Good

It's that time again! Time when I can pick my tomatoes out of the garden instead of buying them in the store. I have cherry tomatoes on the deck for a quick and easy snack. I have 4 Big Boys in the garden. Plus I have one heirloom tomato plant called "Mortgage Lifter." Delicious, low calorie, high in vitamins, round, red and beautiful: tomatoes!

Acorns Are Ruining My Sleep

I have a burr oak on the east side of my house and this year we have a bumper crop of acorns. The little fringed capped acorns are so plentiful that they are starting to form layers under the tree. I have a veritable drift of acorns. About 20 feet northeast of the burr oak tree lays an aluminum canoe. When the acorns hit the canoe, it sounds like a pistol shot. These alarming sounds happen at random times 24 hours a day - not far from my bedroom window. I don't see how one small acorn can make that much noise. Sounds like the tree has grown arms and is flinging the acorns at the canoe like the apple tree flung apples at the scarecrow and Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz. Could the fact that the canoe is upside down have something to do with it? Maybe if I turned the canoe over there would be less noise because it would strike the aluminum with the ground supporting it? OR - I could put a blanket over the canoe to muffle the sound. OR - I could move the canoe away from the tree - but that would just move it closer to a different oak tree. Plus I shouldn't be doing that - back restrictions and all. One of my offspring just bought a screen gazebo - I could erect that over the canoe - kinda like a canoe umbrella. Or - I could refill my air tank and shoot the acorns out of the tree with my paintball gun. Sounds like fun but hard on the tree. Or I could relax and smile when I hear the acorns striking the canoe because it is proof that I am still alive and hearing.

Jiminy!

Yesterday when I arrived at work I noticed a black bug in the hallway outside my office door. I thought it was a roach (Gasp!). So I stepped closer to look and realized it was a cricket. This was my first cricket sighting of 2007. I was admiring the shape of this cricket - the sharp bends of its hind legs, the sleek body lines, the many angles of the body. As I watched, the cricket turned it's body to face me. THE CRICKET CHARGED AT ME! This cricket moved a foot closer to me in a sudden movement. Wow. Why would a cricket charge at something over 100 times it's size? What was going through that little cricket brain? "Oh, I must scare this potential predator before she steps on me?" "Oh, she looks like she wants to make cricket soup out of me so I'll show her!" "Bet you money I can make this lady dance and possibly scream." "I'll try to get up her pants leg and then we'll see what is shaking." I was startled but I didn't scream and I didn't step on it. I admired the moxie of this cricket and let it continue it's cricket day in peace.

Hope

The natural flights of the human mind are not from pleasure to pleasure, but from hope to hope. Samuel Johnson, "The Rambler"

The Simpsons

I enjoyed the Simpsons Movie. I laughed and laughed. I laughed at the movie and I laughed because my companion was laughing so hard tears were coming out of her eyes. And she had seen the movie before! It's fun to go to a movie with a certifiable fan. The Simpson's movie pokes fun at President W, corporate America, television, religion, Spiderman, movies, families, Alaska, society and love. And at the same time, the movie pays homage to all these things too. The Simpsons movie even makes fun of itself. Homer asks why people would pay money to go to a theater when they can watch the same thing on TV for free. Yeah, good question. The catch for me is the character development. I like Homer. He's an a$$ but I like him. He loves Marge. He loves his children. He makes numerous poor choices but some important good choices. Even minor characters (like Moe and Milton) have good character development. I am glad I saw the Simpsons. If you are a fan, you should see it too.

Aww, fudge, aaarrrrgggghhhhhh

Going to see the Simpsons movie tonight!

Pain

pain
2 entries found.
pain[1,noun]pain[2,verb]
Main Entry:
1pain
Pronunciation:
\ˈpān\
Function:
noun
Etymology:
Middle English, from Anglo-French peine, from Latin poena, from Greek poinē payment, penalty; akin to Greek tinein to pay, tinesthai to punish, Avestan kaēnā revenge, Sanskrit cayate he revenges
Date:
14th century
1: punishment2 a: usu. localized physical suffering associated with bodily disorder (as a disease or an injury); also : a basic bodily sensation induced by a noxious stimulus, received by naked nerve endings, characterized by physical discomfort (as pricking, throbbing, or aching), and typically leading to evasive action b: acute mental or emotional distress or suffering : grief3plural : the throes of childbirth4plural : trouble, care, or effort taken to accomplish something 5: one that irks or annoys or is otherwise troublesome —often used in such phrases as pain in the neck
— pain·less \-ləs\ adjective
— pain·less·ly adverb
— pain·less·ness noun
— on pain of or under pain of
: subject to penalty or punishment of

I have been thinking about pain today. I read some stories about the survivors of the bridge collapse of I35W in Minneapolis. People who were in the middle of the span survived the fall into the river. They rode the bridge down and survived because the impact was absorbed in part by the road, in part by their vehicles, and in part because the human body is designed to take some impact.

I found out today that a dear friend of mine has liver cancer. He is postponing treatment until after his daughter's wedding. I feel so sad.

I had a painful day yesterday. My back and leg hurt. If it were June, yesterday would have been an average day as far as pain. Because of my pain device, I am not used to feeling this much pain so I suffered more today than I would have in June. I could not fully comprehend the pain I was in until I wasn't in that much pain anymore.

If you put a frog in a pan of boiling water, the frog will try and jump right out. But if you put a frog in a pot of lukewarm water and gradually bring it to a boil, the frog will stay in and die.

I can see two categories of pain - useful pain and useless pain. Useful pain is determined by our response to the pain. If the physical pain stops me from touching the stove and getting burned, it's useful pain. If the emotional pain stops me from spending my limited time and energy with a noxious person, it's useful pain. If the physical pain cannot be avoided by changing my behavior, such as chronic low back pain, the pain is useless. Not all pain can be avoided. Pain is one of the many emotions we have been blessed to receive. Maybe happiness would not be as intense without the pain to balance it out.

It hurts so good. C'mon baby make it hurt so good. Sometimes love don't feel like it should. It hurts so good.

Toad In The Hole

(sausages baked in batter)

Ingredients:

1 C. flour

2 eggs

1 C. milk

1/2 tsp. salt

dash pepper

1 pound small pork or soy sausages

Preheat the oven to 400 degrees. In a small blender, combine flour, eggs, milk, salt and pepper and blend at high speed for 2 or 3 seconds. Turn off the machine and scrape down the sides of the jar. Blend again for 45 seconds. Refrigerate the batter for an hour.

Place the sausages in a heavy skillet and prick them several times with a fork. Sprinkle them with 3 tsp. of water, cover the pan tightly, and cook over low heat for 4 minutes. Uncover, increase heat to medium, and cook, turning frequently, until the water is evaporated and the sausages begin to brown in their own fat.

Arrange the cooked sausages at least an inch apart in a baking dish about 6x10 inches. Moisten them with 2 tsp. of their own drippings.

Pour the batter over sausages. Bake in the center of the oven for 30 minutes, or until the pudding rises over the top of the pan and is crisp and brown. Serve at once.

My First Time

I did it! I sold an item on Ebay. I am so excited. It wasn't so hard. Why did I wait so long? So long Saunders Lumbar Traction Device. Hello cash in the bank.

Peaches

I love this time of year in part because of the fresh peaches I can buy at the store. How can you not like a peach? I know some get turned off by the "flannel" on the skin. I love peaches. I love their color. I love their smell. I love their shape (similar to one of my favorite parts of the human anatomy which is why I go to the ballet - men in tights turning around and around). I love the way the juice runs down my chin. I love their texture. I even like their name. Love them. Gotta have one. Peaches!

Oops I did it again!

Man, I did it again. I have to give myself credit though, it's been 8 years since the last time. Although I didn't think it was possible in my Honda Civic, sadly, it is. Lucky for me I have a hero in my local community services officer. I signed the damage waiver. He used a plastic finish protector first. Then he inserted a flat black plastic piece in the drivers door. It had what looked like a blood pressure bulb attached. He squeezed the bulb until the door opened far enough to insert a long metal rod. He reached in and unlocked the door by pulling up on the button. I offered him a slightly melted popsicle, a banana, a plum and a peach but he turned them all down. I shook his hand in gratitude. My Hero!

Today is a Sad Day

We pray for the victims of the Hwy 35W bridge collapse.

Please Say a Prayer

The last time I went over that bridge was 6/26, on the way to the hospital for my surgery. They were working with jackhammers on it that day too.