Jerry is Moving

My neighbor across the street has moved out this week. He and his wife are moving into a modular home on their property near Brainerd. He’s been our neighbor for about 8 years. They have a dog named Rambo. The dog’s name is not at all like the dog’s personality. Goofy would be more appropriate. Or Mark. Rambo has to come over and mark all upright things in my driveway with his urine every day. Jerry is a complicated, unusual character. He can be abrupt. Blunder ran across the street to greet him one day. I ran after her. Jerry says, “Your dog is going to be flattened one day.” OK, I think, your dog crosses the street several times a day too. I was painting polka dots on my mailbox. He comes over to get the mail and says, ‘You sure paint your mailbox a lot.” OK, I think, you are an art critic. He can be very generous. I went over to visit one weekend while he and his wife were sitting by a bonfire. He offered me a drink, a whiskey and soda. I said no thanks, I don’t drink. He offered me a hamburger. I said no thanks, I don’t eat meat. He didn't like to hear that I didn't drink AND didn't eat meat. He kept offering me things. He seemed more desperate to get me take something after each refusal. I went home with a carton of soy milk. It was Jerry who plowed my driveway this winter and I gotta say, no one before had plowed so thoroughly as he did. I do, however, have chunks of class 5 gravel spread in the grass - maybe he was a little too thorough. I’m not complaining though. Another time a couple years ago we had a windstorm. Several trees were blocking our driveway. He had relatives over helping him clean up with chain saws and a bobcat. Offspring #2 and I were straddling a downed tree sawing with my bow saw. We're just a half inch from finishing the last cut when he walks over to ask what we are doing. Uh, sawing a tree. Jerry then asks, "Need any help?" No, we got it, thanks for asking. He points to a sapling in his front yard that survived the storm. He says his wife told him to leave it but he wants to cut it down. "Why?" I gotta ask. "Why do you want to cut down a healthy tree that your wife wants to keep?" I am truly interested in his reasoning here. Jerry says, "I don't like that many trees in the yard." "But," I can't quit asking him questions, "Jerry, isn't your property in Brainerd completely wooded?" "Yes," Jerry replies as if he's making perfect sense, "That is different." Once he told one of the neighbors that he liked all the squirrels in the neighborhood because they made good eating. She believed him. Jerry was not the joking kind. In the eight years I've known him he has had both knees replaced. The first operation was terribly painful for him. After a month or so I told he him looked like he was walking better and he got a little angry. He explained that it hurt as much today as it did the first day after the operation. Jerry was not patient. He liked to get things done fast. When he had a roof installed he offered a bonus if they got it done in one day. They did get it done in one day. When he had an irrigation system installed, he offered $200 extra and the entire bill paid in cash if they got it done in one day. They got it done in one day. I suspected he would have a hard time being patient in selling the house. He listed it with two real estate companies. They had 3 visitors in 6 months but no offers. Even after bringing the price way down and trying to sell it himself, they had no offers. So Jerry's son-in-law is taking over the payments. So now my neighbors are a young couple with two elementary school aged children. Rambo is gone too. It's the end of an era.