Wild Thursday

Twas a wild Thursday at the Blaine Human Services Center this week. A elderly man in a trench coat exposed himself on the second floor. We have a community service officer in our building but the geriatric exposer got away. The situation was sad, serious and humorous all at the same time. I saw a exposer once - sort of. It was the summer after 9th grade and I was walking north on Victoria, down the hill from Sextant towards Central Park with my girlfriend, Jenny. Jenny was way more street smart than I was. We saw a man pull over to the side of the road and open his car door. He stood with the car door open. Suddenly Jenny pushes me and yells, "Run! It's a perv!" I don't run. I don't even know what a perv is. She pushes me around and yells at me to run. I ask, "What's a perv?" She laughs and pushes me up the hill. I'm reluctant to run away from a crime scene when I don't even know what it is yet. The man seemed ordinary enough and he was just standing by his car door. If being a perv is such a scary thing, I want to be able to differentiate it from the other ordinary men I see standing by their cars. Her reactions are way faster than mine. My friend Jenny was always very convincing so I run with her trying to turn around and look. I get caught up in the excitement of running away from "The Perv." I actually thought it was a skin condition, perhaps something like leprosy and in that case running away from him was not a very nice thing to do. Or maybe perv is another word for alien from another planet like Mars or Pervo. Once we round the corner and we're back on Sextant, she explains that perv is short for pervert - someone who exposes their thing. And yes, Jenny had to explain what the thing was. I didn't know such things could happen. I'm lucky she was with me. The other wild thing that happened at the Blaine Human Services Center on Thursday was the sighting of a female turkey on 89th Avenue - strutting across the street and angrily fussing at the cars in her path. Turkeys have such big egos. They act like they own the place. They're kinda human in that way.