Monday, August 24, 2009

.333 Average


Here are some instructions I got Sunday morning: "Put these things in your ears. Blade your body so you don't get knocked over. Line up the two bumps on the barrel. This is the safety on and this is the safety off. Pump it hard, don't do it soft. Put these two in down here. Aim right for it, don't lead ahead. The trigger is stiff so you'll have to give it a good pull." I went hunting for orange plates of clay with a 12 gauge shotgun lent to me by my nephew "R." Gun held tight and squinting into the blue sky, I yelled, "Ready!" A clay target sails into the sky. I follow it with the barrel of the gun and shoot just as it descends within 6 feet of the ground. I missed. I eject the shell and it falls smoking at my feet. I pump another shell into the chamber and yell, "Ready!" Nephew "D" pulls the string that sends the second clay target sailing into the air. I shoot at this one at the apex of it's flight. Missed again. I eject another smoking shell and pump the last one into the chamber. "Ready!" I really want to show these young punks that their aunt is a good shot. I must hit at least one of these targets to preserve my dignity. I took gun safety lessons at Roseville City Hall back in the 1960's. I was a good shot then. I remember how to shoot a gun. I'm no Annie Oakley but I'm not inexperienced either. I pull the trigger for the third time and that clay target is BLOWN TO SMITHEREENS! WoooHoooo!

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