Orange is My Favorite

I LOVE sugarfree popsicles.

The Zookeeper's Wife

"The Zookeeper's Wife" was written by Diane Ackerman. The title doesn't do justice to the heroine of this true story, Antonia Zabinski. Antonia was as much of a zookeeper as her husband, Jan. They owned a zoo in Warsaw, Poland, during World War II. She and Jan were naturalists who tried to preserve species and run their peaceful zoo while raising their son. When the war starts, the Nazis take many of the treasured animals to Germany. The other animals are shot for sport. Antonia and Jan start housing Jewish friends inside the zoo. Jan is a part of the Polish resistance movement. Antonia handles the zoo, the people in the zoo, and life in general while Jan is away. She even gives birth to a daughter during this time. Reading this book makes me want to go to Warsaw. I want to see the zoo, the Jewish ghetto, and other landmarks mentioned in this book. I really want to know, if push came to shove, would I be as brave and heroic as Antonia? Here is what the book has to say about the personalities of the rescuers: ". . . tended to be decisive, fast-thinking, risk-taking, independent, adventurous, openhearted, rebellious, and unusually flexible-able to switch plans, abandon habits, or change ingrained routines at a moment's notice. They tended to be nonconformists, and though many rescuers held solemn principles worth dying for . . ." This book was very entertaining, informative, and thought provoking.

Phyllis

Tonight the chickens were supervising me while I planted a bleeding heart plant, a grape vine and some rannunculus. I noticed something different about Phyllis. On her left leg the toenail (talon? claw?) was missing on her outside toe. What happened? Was the toenail ripped off during her fight with Peanut, the ferocious minature pincher last fall? When I interrupted that fight, the dog had her right thigh in his jaws. I never noticed a bloody foot. Phyllis is walking just fine so I don't think the injury is recent. Poor Phyllis!

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Education is Our Hope For the Future

I talked to a man today. He casually mentioned he was at an Army base last week. I asked if he was in the Army. He said he was. I thanked him for his service. He told me he had been to Afghanistan twice and Iraq once. He'll be going to Afghanistan again in about a year for 12 months. He is in special operations. He said he got really close to some people there. He worked with an interpreter or a "terp." The terp was a wealthy businessman who made $13 per month. The terp said he hoped someday the Army friends could make as much money as he did. They didn't tell him their wages but at the end of their tour of duty, they collected $200 and gave it to the terp and his family. The terp and his family overwhelmed them with gratitude. The man also talked about making friends with the youth in Afghanistan. The youth were very interested in their eyeglasses. The youth thought (because they were told) that with American eyeglasses, one could see straight through the clothes. The eyeglasses had x-ray vision. This meant the Americans were disrespecting the Afghan women simply by looking at them with eyeglasses on their faces. The youth shyly asked to try on the eyeglasses. One by one, the young people put on the glasses and immediately looked at a woman wearing a burqa. To their surprise, the glasses didn't work. They couldn't see through the burqa at the woman's figure. The man said a little bit of education can go a long way. He thought it would take about 15 years for the education to take effect in Afghanistan but he had hope for the future.

The Last Time I Saw You

If you want to read a quick book that is well written and makes you smile, you might like Elizabeth Berg's "The Last Time I Saw You." The story is about a 40th high school reunion. I thought the theme of the tale was karma - what goes around comes around. The jocks, the nerds, the lonely heart wall flowers, the cheer leaders, the letter jackets, the sluts, and the mean girls grow older. Some of them don't grow up. The writes goes from one person to the next explaining their lives in high school and their current lives. She uses their names so often I almost felt like I knew them personally. I liked this book a lot.

Frog and Toad Hunt #1

Last night a sibling, offspring #2 and I went on our first of three frog and toad hunts. We're surveying a frog and toad route for the Minnesota Department of Natural Resources. After much studying and successfully completing the frog and toad identification quiz we now have blood stained ear canals and hear frogs 24/7 (I mean we now could proceed with the survey). Our route is near Kroshel (I never heard of it before either) which is north of Mora and east of Sandstone and Hinckley. We scouted out our route in daylight first. We tried to have a bite to eat in Sandstone but ended up at Tobies in Hinckley because we got lost. Tobies was good though. I had a bowl of oatmeal. Now, is that so strange? I took some heat for ordering oatmeal. Some people think oatmeal is inappropriate for a long trip to a restaurant you seldom frequent. Oatmeal, raisins and brown sugar - that really hit the spot. Then we surveyed our area. The sky was drizzling - good weather for hunting frogs and toads. Unlike the owl survey, we heard what we sought to hear. We heard a full chorus of spring peepers (see photo) at every stop. The peeper calls were overlapping, continuous and constant. Some would say deafening. At stop 2,5, 7 and 10 we heard several chorus frogs (sound like a finger rubbing the stiff teeth on a comb) calling and one American toad. We heard more American toads at stop 4 and 8. And at stop 7 we also were thrilled to hear a wood frog calling. Wood frogs make a sound like "Keck a heck." Or maybe they were saying Kennebec because that is the county we were in. Wood frogs call only 2 weeks a year. Peepers call for months. I thought we were very lucky to hear a wood frog calling. We will do this survey again in May and in June. I really hope we get to hear a green frog calling. Green frogs sound like the pluck of a loose banjo string-sort of like the sound my stomach was making last night - must have been the oatmeal. Completing the survey was lots of fun. We were way out in the country, on dirt roads parked by culverts and ponds and sloughs, purposefully listening to the sounds in the dark.

Birding At Carlos Avery

Today was good duck weather for birding. We saw lots of ringed necked ducks (see above - the ring on their bill is more obvious than the ring on their neck) and coots. We saw a few mallards, Canadian geese, one loon, some blue winged teal, and many sandhill cranes. We came upon a spot at Carlos Avery where the sky was FILLED with tree swallows. The scene was positively Alfred Hitchcock in "The Birds." The tree swallows swoop around like bats catching insects. We saw phoebe, red winged blackbirds, robins, bluebirds, mourning doves, and yellow bellied sapsuckers. We saw a bald eagle way off in the distance - just a dark shape against the sky using the scope. Later we came around a corner and there, just 20 feet from the road, sat a bald eagle atop a dead tree. He was just sitting there looking down at us. Rain was pouring down on him and he looked wet yet majestic as we drove by.

Spring

Humpty Dumpty sits on a wall in front of 3 deer. Azalea bush in bloom.

Cherry bushes in blossom.
Chives and rhubarb growing. Lily of the valley grows next to the sidewalk.

Oceans

If you love nature movies, I think you will love "Oceans," a Disney film that premiered today, on Earth Day. The cinematography is breath taking. I saw jellyfish, blue whales, orcas, dolphins, walrus, sea lions, marine iguanas, penguins, polar bear, albatross, narwhal (unicorns of the sea), blue finned tuna, sword fish, clown fish (like Nemo), eels, anemone, sea urchins, cormorants, sharks, hump backed whales, sardines, cuttle fish, and krill. I saw the effects of river pollution on the ocean. The movie said, "The oceans are responsible for every drink we take and every breath we breathe." Good movie. I'm glad I saw it on the big screen.

Monarchs

Tonight I went to a class on the effects of climate change on monarch migration. It was Monarchs 101 for me. Monarchs are pretty amazing when you look at them closely. For example, they mate several times in their 4 week lives, for 16 hours at a time. 16 hours?!! Yes, 16 hours on average. Some monarch couples go over 24 hours. Besides sperm, the males inject the female with high protein substances. The females will use some of that protein to nourish their own bodies. Females can lay thousands of eggs. Very fertile female monarchs will lay more than their body weight in eggs. The class was fascinating. Because I drove the motorcycle, I had to leave early so I could be home before dark. I had a great time commuting to the class but I wish I could have stayed longer. I saw a couple deer in the ditch by the Coon Lake Maintenance Building. The sight of them gave me an adrenaline surge. I made it home safely just as the sun was setting.

Tomorrow is Earth Day. How are you celebrating? Here is a photo of the earth in my yard - the garden specifically. If you look carefully you can see a horizontal line of onion looking plants. That my garlic. I hope the earth is warming up and churning up the compost so it will be ready to receive my seeds and plants next month. I'm planning to see the new movie "Oceans" tomorrow. Review to follow.

I was eavesdropping

I couldn't help but hear these two guys talking at the gym today.
Man #1: Hey, Doc.
Man #2: Good to see you working out.
Man #1: I wanted to see you. I have a question for you I've been meaning to ask.
Man #2: What is that?
Man #1: You know that girl you have working in your office? I wondered if it would be okay with you if I gave her my number.
Man #2: Oh, you mean Kathy? Yes, yes, she is a hard worker.
Man #1: She is single, right?
Man #2: I think so. Why not give it a shot? She hasn't been here long but she works very hard, very hard.
Man #1: My intuition tells me she would be a reliable person.
Man #2: She is an excellent worker. I have nothing but positive things to say about this venture.
Man #1: So it's okay with you that I give her my number.
Man #2: Absolutely. Good luck to you.
Man #1: Thanks. See you around Doc.
Man #2: See you around.

Did I just witness the beginning of a wonderful love story? It's spring and love is in the air

I can't tell a leopard from a pickeral.

My sibling and I decided to partake in the DNR frog and toad survey. We are assigned a route in Kennebec County near Mora. Before we could begin we have to pass a frog and toad quiz. I passed the owl test so I thought I could pass this test too. I listened to the CD the DNR gave me. The narrator sounds JUST like Sheldon from the television show "Big Bang Theory." I try to take him seriously. I had 16 frogs and toads to memorize. The test involves only 13 so I focused on them. Here are my notes: Chorus frog-sounds like a finger running down the teeth of a comb; Spring peeper - heart monitor, Wood frog - says "keck a heck" or sounds like a duck being strangled; Leopard frog - a 3 second rattling snore with rumbles and chuckles; Gray Tree frog - half second musical trill with squeaky yelps; Copes Gray Tree frog - similar to Gray tree but harsher and buzzier; American toad - long musical trill; Cricket frog - sounds like two pebbles clacking together; Pickeral frog - a 2 second snore with no rumbles or chuckles; Green frog - a loose banjo string being plucked decreasing in volume and tone; Bull frog says "Rum, ru-um"; Mink frog - 4 raps or horses hooves on cobblestone; Great Plains toad - a long metallic chant. I listened to the CD several times. I was directed to go to the USGS frog and toad quiz website. I practiced with the public test several times. This was hard. Sometimes there would be 5 frogs on the same sound clip. I had to adjust my realplayer several times to hear the quieter frogs. And Migwe, the canary, was absolutely no help at all. He must have thought he was at a jazz concert because he was scatting along with the frogs as loud as he could. Finally I thought to listen to the frog clips on earphones so the canary couldn't sing along. That helped quite a bit. But curse my slow dial-up connection. Each clip took about 3 minutes to load. After spending 90 minutes practicing, I took the quiz. And I failed the quiz. I needed a score of 65 to pass and I got 39. I thought maybe I wasn't an auditory learner. I practiced more over the weekend. This morning I took the quiz again and I did well with a score of 77. It's hard to tell the Gray Tree frog from the Copes Gray tree frog. The quiz allows you to answer Gray Tree frog unspecified so that helped a lot. The other combination that is hard to tell apart is the Leopard frog and the Pickeral. How can you tell a 2 second rattling snore from a 3 second rattling snore? Practice helped. I was dancing around the kitchen this morning in celebration of my victory over the frog and toad sounds.

Birding at SNWR

Today my bird class went to the Sherburne National Wildlife Refuge. I saw three birds I had never seen before. Lets see, in approximate order, we saw robins (hundreds), red winged blackbirds, red throated mergansers, grackles, bald eagles, red tailed hawks, Canadian geese, ring-necked ducks, blue wing teal, mallards, Eastern Towhee (a first for me), Meadowlarks, sandhill cranes, great blue heron, coot, phoebe, Trumpeter swans, snipe (pictured and also a first for me), bluebirds, blue jays, hooded mergansers, pheasant, killdeer, cormorants, and yellow legs (another first for me). We saw a pasque flower in bloom on a field that had been recently burned. The bests sightings? One was seeing a bluebird pair go in and out of a small hole in the tree. The female sat outside on a branch while the male went in and out of the hole cleaning the nest. Another best sighting was the snipe circling above our heads singing an eery "Lu lu lu lu lu lu lu lu." I guess that was the bird equivalent of a wolf whistle. The snipe sang and circled the entire time we were there which had to be at least ten minutes. The last best sighting was the yellow legs. We saw one, then two and finally three poking their long bills into the mud. I think yellow legs is an odd name for a bird. Seems like the name is missing a third part. There's red winged blackbirds, blue wing teal, red headed woodpecker and yellow rumped warbler. Those all have three names unlike yellow legs. On the other hand, when you see them through the binoculars, you think, "Look at those yellow legs!" We had a great day birding.

Oh, my God.

A friend of mine happily found out she was pregnant. With. Three. Girls. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God!

Do you think it's weird?

Do you think it's weird that I would totally go out with the sock monkey from the Kia commercials? He looks to be a "living large" kinda guy.

Murder And Other Acts Of Literature

This book was selected by my book club. I voted against it. Murder is not a favorite topic of mine. I did read the entire book - a collection of short stories by many famous authors. The story by Rudyard Kipling was simply terrible. That man must not have liked women very much. The one by Isabel Allende, usually an author I like, was unbelievable. No one would carry out a grudge like that. The story by Virginia Wolf was great and I was surprised because the one novel of hers that I read was a very difficult and unsatisfying read. Some of the stories were good. The woman who selected the stories (Slung) was not choosing the best work of each author. She chose stories about murder that were unusual or twisted.

Another Bird Field Trip

This week we went birding at the Coon Rapids dam. We saw house sparrows, mallards, scaup, killdeer, tree swallows (my first of the year), rock doves, Canadian geese, herring gulls, ring-billed gulls, and the osprey. The osprey always nest on the Hennepin county side of the dam. This year they are on top of a huge electrical transmission tower. We listened to a man speak about the osprey. He, with three other men, have studied these osprey for years. They're writing a book about the one they call "The Old Man." Old Man is more than 10 years old. He has a distinctive injury to his right wing that separates the feathers near his wrist. He has mated with several females over the years. He hasn't returned from his migration to South America yet. He is usually later than the other osprey. When he does come back he ferociously chases off the other male osprey. He is also ferocious when fending off eagles who look at his newly fledged offspring as a tasty treat. I think I'll buy their book when it comes out. These men hang around the osprey nest with their digital scopes and fancy cameras all the time. They allow park users to look at the osprey through their scope. They educate and spark interest in the osprey. While he talked the osprey in the nest were calling non-stop. One would fly off to fish while the other one called. Then they would switch positions and take turns fishing and crying out. We were there almost an hour and no fish were caught during that time. The speaker said there is another osprey nest in Coon Rapids on top of a baseball field light in a park. He wouldn't say which park. I spoke up, "Why won't you tell us what park?" He said he made an agreement not to name the park to protect the osprey. He's talking to a bird class. None of us are going to disturb the osprey nest. Besides, standing here at the dam with a scope pointed at the osprey nest isn't doing anything to protect those osprey. His comment got my dander up and I was bound and determined to find that other osprey nest. I suspected the nest would be at Sand Creek because there are so many baseball fields there. I have a friend who lives adjacent to that park. Her kids are athletic and I figured she has been at many baseball diamonds. So I asked her. She said she would check it out. That very night she called me back. She found the nest. Turns out the nest wasn't at Sand Creek or any of the next 4 baseball fields she looked at. The nest is in a baseball field behind Lilliputt Golf Course on Coon Rapids Boulevard. The photo above is similar to what it looks like. I guess I know who to ask when it comes to finding raptor nests in baseball parks in Coon Rapids.

On a smaller note, my chipping sparrow is back today. I'm expecting the hummingbirds by next week.

The Pact

Jodi Picoult wrote this story about two teenagers who grew up as neighbors. He loved her and she loved him. They were as close as twins until they became even closer as young lovers. When she became depressed and was hurting, he hurt too. When she talked about suicide, she asked him to listen. He listened. The more she talked, the less strange her ideas became. Was he helping her or hurting her the day her life ended? Jodi Picoult write another great courtroom drama story. Loved it.

Fart Egg

Last night for supper I made some french toast. I grabbed an egg laid early in the day. I noticed the egg was much smaller than the other eggs. I was so surprised when I cracked it open. No yolk! One of the chickens laid an egg with no yolk. Like a cherry without a pit or a peach without a stone, this egg had only white inside. According to wikipedia, this is unusual but not unheard of. Yolkless eggs are known as "wind eggs" or "fart eggs" or "cock eggs."

Today was an excellent day for being outside. I worked in the garden this morning. When I get a chance, I spade up a section of the vegetable garden. The garden is divided into six equal sections by fence posts. I try to do 1/6 of the garden at a time. Any more spading than that in a single day is too hard on my back. Today I finished section 4. The chickens were glad to be outside too. They follow me around the yard. As I spaded the garden, the chickens hopped into one of my compost piles. They seemed very busy. Earlier in the week I had moved one section of the pile on top. I went to investigate what the chickens were pecking at. Had they found some tasty bugs to snack on? They were so intent on their pecking they didn't notice me approach. Sometimes chickens are not so smart. They were pecking at the color red; not left over apples or tomatoes or strawberries. I had laid an old metal sign down to keep the apple tree roots from infiltrating my compost. The chickens were pecking at the red letters on the sign. They continued to peck at the metal sign the rest of the time I worked in the garden. I finished that chore and got an invitation to go for a bike ride. I went out to the chickens with a handful of sunflower seeds in my hand. I told the girls I had a treat and threw the seeds into the coop. The chickens piled into the coop as fast as they could. I shut the door knowing they would be safe while I was gone. I picked up my friend in Coon Rapids. We headed east through Blaine, Lino Lakes, Centerville, Hugo and Stillwater. As we rode along scenic Highway 96, a group of four crotch rockets were behind us. I was in front. I was the leader of the pack! Highway 96 is beautiful but the right tire track is crap, absolute crap. We stopped for a break along the St. Croix River. We enjoyed the scenery and were serenaded by a loon. We headed north to Marine on the St. Croix. We turned west on County Road 4. This road is one of the prettiest roads I have ever seen. Trees form a canopy over the road. The road climbs out of the river valley and twists and turns back and forth. A short tunnel leads us under a railroad. We went back on Main Street again. My friend told me to look carefully at Centerville Lake. She said she saw an ice house out there. So I looked. Sure enough, there was an ice house way out on the lake, near a fishing boat. No ice on the lake; how could there be an ice house out there? Was it sitting atop a sandbar? Was it a two story ice house and we were only seeing the top story? Was it a floating ice house? I could have gotten a better look if I was in a car. This ice house remains a mystery. We figured we traveled 75 miles from her house so that puts me over 100 miles today. Nice ride.

Birds

We had another bird class this morning. This time we met on the east side of Round Lake in Andover. There is a convenient dirt road/parking area between the lake and the county road. We saw shovelers, scaup, bald eagles, red winged blackbirds, pheasants, a lonely sandhill crane, song sparrow, a pair of loon, wood duck, Canadian geese, gulls, mourning dove, goldfinches, a pair of trumpeter swans and an osprey. Just for us the osprey circled the lake and fished. It swooped down and splashed into the water twice while I had my binoculars focused on it. The osprey flew away empty handed but it put on a nice show. On my way home I saw a great white heron - a first for me this year.

Date Night

I admit. I'm a big Steve Carrell fan. I like Tina Fey too. Date Night was a good movie. It takes you away from your troubles for a couple hours. The plot starts out similar to North by Northwest (that Cary Grant movie that ends at Mount Rushmore). In that movie, the character played by Cary Grant gets in trouble because he asks a hotel clerk a question just as the bad guys page the name of a person they are after. In Date Night, the Steve Carrell and Tina Fey characters (the Fosters) claim the name of another couple in order to get a table at a crowded restaurant. Trouble ensues. If you've seen the trailer, you've seen all the best parts. Funny though. This is a rentable movie.

More Glass Mosiacs

I've always been attracted to mosaics. I remember making them out of pieces of construction paper back in elementary school. Maybe my mosaic affiliation is from all the time I spent in church as a child looking up at the stained glass windows. I recently took another class in glass mosaic's - this time a glass hanging pendant lamp. The lamp shade is a bottle - typically vodka or whiskey bottles. The teacher said a Jack Daniel's square bottle is also nice. The bottom of the bottle is cut off. Pieces of glass are glued to the sides and that, by the way, is a very slow process; relaxing but slow. The bottle is grouted with black sanded grout. A 15 watt bulb hangs inside. I took two shots of each lamp - one with flash and one without. If you can't tell, one lamp is an owl; a square eyed owl. The other is a series of birds pumping their wings up and down in flight.

Owl Survey

Last fall I went to a presentation up at Hawk Ridge in Duluth. A volunteer there talked about opportunities to get involved in citizen science projects. One project was the annual owl survey. That sounded interesting to me. I thought it would be a good way to learn owl sounds. So a sibling and I signed up. We both passed the on-line quiz of the ten Minnesotan owl calls. Our survey had to be completed between April 1 and April 15. On Monday night we completed our route. A third sibling joined us. Three sisters on a road trip/owl survey. After dropping Offspring #2 off in Northfield, we proceeded east to Lake City. We wanted to scout our route in daylight so we would know where we were going. We wrote down the longitude and latitude of each of the ten stops along with a description such as "fields on both sides" or "deciduous forest on left, field on right" or "just past a huge mud puddle in the road" or "twenty plastic calf huts on right." By the looks of the ravines and wooded ridges, we figured we were in prime owl territory. We went out to eat in Lake City at a restaurant right on Lake Pepin. The view was beautiful. Nerdy or not, we looked at water birds with binoculars during the meal. Yeah, nerdy. Definitely. The view was better than the food. At 8:15 we started the route. It was dark and windy at the first stop. We stood in the road next to the car in the pitch dark listening for owls for five minutes. We heard sounds but not owls. This turned out to be the theme of the evening - sounds but no owls. At the third stop I thought I heard something walking in the woods. I turned around to look but couldn't see anything. Five minutes can seem like forever sometimes. At the stop by the mud puddle, the sounds of frogs was deafening. One of the croaking frogs was a gray chorus frog and they sound like someone rubbing the teeth on a comb. Once a car stopped and asked if we needed help. I imagine we looked like we needed help - two people holding clipboards standing outside a car in the dark on a dirt road. The sixth or seventh stop was on the edge of a mowed section by someone's house. We stopped the car and got out. Two dogs barked and barked and barked at us. I thought if that dog comes running up to me, forget the owls, I am getting back in the car. We heard the homeowners calling the dogs into the house. When the five minutes were up we got back into the car and drove past the house. We could see two people standing in the doorway looking at us. I hope we didn't scare them too much. We finished the tenth stop about 10 p.m. We didn't hear any owls. But the fact we didn't hear any owls in important too. Owls don't talk all the time. I imagine at least one owl watched us listening for them. We had a good adventure. We are considering doing the frog and toad survey for the DNR next. At least we have a better chance of hearing frogs than owls.

Belated Happy Hatchday

The chickens are a year and 6 days old today. I almost forgot their hatchday. They were hatched and mailed on April 1, 2009. The top photo of of Pamela. In the middle photo the chickens are following me around the yard as they like to do with Meredith in the lead, then Pamela, Kelly next and Phyllis bringing up the rear. The last photo shows Pamela (rear to camera) next to Meredith (the runaway) with Kelly and Phyllis (victim of a dog attack) in the background. Since I have adopted the chickens, they have laid about 3 eggs a day since September. That gives me approximately 630 eggs. I've paid for six bags of feed at $10.95 each equalling $65.70. That comes out to a little over a penny per egg. Sounds cheep but it's not accurate. I've also spent $10 on bedding, $25 on food and water containers and $400 on the coop plus the run. That figures out to 8 cents per egg. I've also gained. The chicken manure and pine bedding will really help the garden this year. Plus we have had countless hours of enjoyment watching the chickens behave. Sometimes one chicken will start walking so fast across the yead you'd think they suddenly remembered they were late for a meeting. Sometimes one chicken will peck at something worthless in the yard like an old piece of caulk and the other chickens will come running and try to steal it from her resulting in a chicken behavior sequence of steal and run, steal and run. Many hours I could have spent as a couch potato have been spent out in the fresh air, watching chickens. The chickens add drama to my life. They've brought the neighborhood closer together.

The Help

I read (listened to) this book last week and it was excellent. The writing was crisp and inviting. The story is told by a white woman and two black maids in Jackson, Mississippi during the 1960's. Each voice tells a different story. After so many hours of listening to the southern drawls, my own speech began to slow down and sound southern. I can totally see why this book is on the best seller list for so many weeks. It is excellent.

Summer Plans

This summer I want to spend some time on the water. Here are some pictures from a trip I took back in 2004 to the Apostle Islands, Wisconsin. That is me in the back row wearing a Navy hat. The leaders of the group paired us together. I was paired with an accountant from Michigan (see shirtless). He and I made a good pair because we both loved to go as deep into the sea caves as we possibly could. When our oars got too wide for the space, we would unscrew them in the middle or lay them sideways against the kayak. Sometimes the ceiling got so low we had to bend forward or backward to slide through. We propelled ourselves by pushing against the rock with our hands. The views inside the sea caves were awesome. One day we kayaked three miles out to an island. On the way back we saw a group of 40 loons riding the swells together out at sea. I'd never seen so many loons together in a group before. That sure was a good trip.

Pet Peeve #41

My pet peeve is telephone voice recognition systems-the kind that make you say your answers aloud. If forced to deal with a machine instead of an actual person, I prefer to press buttons. I don't like talking outloud to a machine. I was recently at an extended dental appointment with Offspring #2. I had to verify insurance on the phone in the waiting room. It's one thing to say "yes" or "no" on the phone but this insurance company wanted my birthday. I had to tell everyone in the waiting room my birthdate. And what happens? The machine tells me all lines are busy and to call back in a few minutes. Great. If they didn't hear my age the first time, they will the second time.

Remember Me

Three out of the four people in my group cried seeing this movie. Not me. My eyes were dry. And I'm a crier. I cry at some commercials. Don't get me wrong. I loved the movie. I loved the character development. But near the end, when the heavy drama hit and my friends were crying (bring tissue next time, FGS! Don't be using the sleeve my MY new motorcycle jacket), I was angry. I felt the film makers were too abrupt. In my head I think, "You can't make this movie this way. Find a gentler way to bring it to the audience." Besides that one part, it was a good movie. A young man is confused and lost in his life. He loves his family though. When his little sister gets bullied, he escorts her back to school. When her bully torments the sister in front of him, he tears a fire extinguisher off the wall and throws it though a window into the hallway. That was not a wise decision but he did stand up for his little sister by making it clear that bullying is not right. He means well. I got to like him for that. I recommend you see it. Bring tissue.

E-Mail Excerpt I Got Today From the Center From Biological Diversity

In response to a UN report on the fatal toll of polluted water across the globe, this week the bottled-water industry published a study containing welcome news: Bottled water can reverse the water crisis and dramatically improve global welfare, but only if more third-world citizens will embrace the pure, refreshing mountain-spring water of Fiji/Dasani/Arrowhead/Aquafina.
According to the study, bottled-water drinkers are statistically far less likely to fall prey to such life-threatening illnesses as malaria, legionellosis, schistosomiasis, and guineaworm; suffer less from such psychological afflictions as post-traumatic stress disorder; have far lower infant-mortality rates; and are also more likely to own a house, cars, and/or swimming pool.
"This proves that bottled water is much better for you than dehydration," said water-industry spokesman Howard Williams. "Pardon my pun, but the data are crystal clear."

In a surprise move on the FOX News Morning Show, former Alaska governor and current 2012 pre-candidate Sarah Palin broke down and offered an apology for not only her crypto-redneck politics, but her entire media-crafted persona. "I'm actually not down-home at all," wept the former John McCain running mate, as she removed her designer eyewear and dabbed at smeared mascara with a square-cut manicured fingertip.
Palin explained to the shocked hosts that her publicly stated disbelief in evolution and global warming, hatred of wolves, "ignorance" of basic geopolitics, and folksy twang were crafted by the New York advertising agency Dewey, Cheatem, and Howe. The agency, whose board of directors includes Karl Rove®, carefully tested the persona on focus groups to ensure approval among her core constituents, Americans who are opposed to education, health, and the "environment."
In actual fact, Palin revealed, she holds an advanced degree in conservation biology from the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, where she wrote a dissertation on the theoretical implications of endogenously changing carrying capacity.
"I'm so glad to be free of that God-awful twang," said Palin. "And you know what? I just love polar bears. Love 'em to pieces."
In the wake of the revelation, the Discovery Channel announced it will not air its planned 2010 reality TV show Sarah Palin's Alaska.