Strawberry Jam

I got a quart of chemical free strawberries on Thursday and still had half a quart left on Sunday. I love fresh strawberries and I have been eating a full quart a week for the past month. But yesterday I took the rest and made about 6 ounces of strawberry jam preserves.  I didn't use Sure-gel. Grandma always used Sure-gel.  Turns out you don't need Sure-gel if you work the strawberries like a chemist. I found a recipe on the BBC website that I liked although I never looked at the list of ingredients or paid any attention at all to the amounts I was supposed to use.  Recipes are more like guidelines anyway. If I used Sure-gel I would have to have 7 cups of fresh strawberries.  I would have to mash the berries. I thought this recipe would work no matter the amounts. And I didn't mash them. I didn't add Sure-gel (besides, what is in that stuff anyway?) I used as much sugar as I thought would be good. I liked the line in the recipe where I don't rinse the strawberries but wipe them gently with damp kitchen paper (the words the Brits use for paper towels).  I read a line about  putting two saucers in the freezer and that confused me. I had to read the instructions 7 times before I figured out you test the doneness of the jam by putting a dab of what you think is fully cooked jam on a cold plate, wait 30 seconds, push it with your finger and if the jam returns to the shape before you poked it, it's done.  See what I mean? Chemistry. The reason I didn't eat the strawberries fresh and plain like I usually like them or with my home made Greek yogurt is also chemistry. For the past month my mouth has felt weird. I constantly feel thirsty but water and other liquids don't quench it. Cabernet Sauvignon quenches it but that is another story. My tongue frequently massages my teeth. I feel thirsty but I'm not thirsty. My tongue felt slightly swollen. My teeth stick to the inside of my lips. My mouth and tongue felt sore. I avoided salty foods because they hurt. Most telling of all I just had my third consecutive canker sore under my tongue. My body was telling me to cut back on the strawberries but it took not one, not two, but three canker sores before I received the message. I wish I was the type of person who paid more attention to her body but you know that hypochondriacs suffer too so maybe it's all even. What kind of cosmic horse laugh is this that I become sensitive to strawberries right after I paid money for a quart a week for many weeks? I don't know if it's the strawberries or the acid that bothers me. I always thought of citrus fruits as acid.  Guess who just bought a three pound bag of oranges? Yeah, that is right. I bought three pounds of oranges. I could put out orange halves for the orioles but I know the squirrels will eat them. I knew grapefruit bothers my mouth and that is why I limit it to one grapefruit per month.  Perhaps it's the combination of the strawberries and the kefir I have been fermenting that is the problem. Maybe if I preserve these delicious red berries and dole them out over the winter I will be able to tolerate them better. Or maybe not.  I looked up a list of the alkaline foods and the acidic foods.  I love food on both lists. I think the fad diets that emphasize alkaline or acid foods are bogus. I'm sure my body and most healthy bodies has found a way to keep our ph balanced. I guess I could be a generous person and give the berries away.  Hold the phone!  I'm not that generous! I could make more strawberry jam. I had a piece of toast this morning and this strawberry jam tastes better than any other batches I have made in my life.  Oh, I got an idea. I could sell these berries on the black market and make a fortune!  I could be rich! Red market perhaps?  You can take away my strawberries, my oranges, my coffee (also acidic), and even my chocolate, but don't come near my tomatoes. That one cherry tomato on the deck will be ready by tomorrow or the next day.

Unemotional unconventional gardening

This year I changed my gardening ways. I vowed to garden without emotion. I vowed to accept the truth of the matter which is, hurts me to say it, I have a shady yard.  I claim full responsibility for the shade in my yard. I wanted less turf and I got less turf. This the sunny side of my garage. In that beautiful tangle are 3 cherry tomato plants, bird house gourd vines, and six salvia.  I really wish I didn't put the two red salvia together and the two purple salvias together but it's too late now. I strung some clothesline up from the garage light to the post on the right and I am training the gourd vines to curl themselves around the rope so the tomatoes can have some sun too. Plus I have a couple peonies hiding in there. The garden is doing well but sometimes I see loss of turgor pressure. My rain barrel is almost empty trying to keep this garden watered. I hired someone to replace my outdoor faucets because they are so old the hose won't fit on them anymore so all water to this garden is carried by hand. I would hazard to say this garden looks unconventional.

The bird house gourd flowers are pretty enough to be in a bouquet. The delicate white blossoms have an edge that could have been made by a pinking shears.  Who wants a handmade birdhouse two years from now? It takes me about 2 years to dry the gourd, drill a door, and give it a coat of paint.

Behold this sunflower! Sorry, emotional again but for 20 years I have tried to grow sunflowers without success because the white tailed deer chomp off the heads and I ended up with a row of sticks year after year after freaking year. I never quit though because I love sunflowers.  The deer chomped off this one too but it came back and it has two heads. I named it Hydra.

To the right of this post which is as tall as I am is ANOTHER SUNFLOWER! The deer never chomped this one off yet.  I spray deerbgone right on it and it's working!  OMG! Shoot, I got emotional again.

This year I started a contest between hydroponic tomatoes and tomatoes in the soil. My plan was to keep emotion out of it and just take inventory as the summer progresses.  These are the tomatoes on the soil tomatoes. What are the results of this contest so far? At first the hydroponic tomatoes grew quicker. Then the demon deer chomped two of the three hydroponic tomatoes down. Don't you think it understandable that I had an emotional rant after seeing that? I vowed to sell this place and move into an apartment.  Then the soil tomatoes took off and grew crazy long vines that I had to tie up or they would have gone all over the yard.  The hydroponic tomato on the deck kept growing steadily but did not have anywhere near the foliage the soil tomatoes had.  I didn't care. I'm growing them for the fruit not the vines. If I was merely taking inventory, I would say the one who gave the most fruit would win the contest.

But on this day I am not unemotional. I drool at the hint of the first tomato of the year. I can't wait until my fingers pull it off the vine and I pop it into my mouth and feel the seeds explode against my tongue! Home all day today I have been watching these babies turning orange and oranger and oranger.  I think the first tomato wins!

Gender Essay

Why is gender so very important?  Why do we use balloons and cake filling to announce the fetus is a boy in blue and a girl in pink? Cultural expectations of gender sometimes make me so angry steam comes out of my ears.  At other times I oppress others by making generalizations. When I went to college in Saint Cloud my consciousness was raised. Certain words such as mankind made me livid. I was told that mankind meant men and women but I did not believe it.  If a person really wanted to include men and women they could, with only a h and a u write humankind. I used the moniker Ms.  Using Ms. as a title would raise eyebrows in the 1970's.  Maybe it still does. I don't really care. After graduation I went back to my college placement office for advice. I found out that the male graduates with an elementary education degree made significantly more money than the women graduates with elementary education degrees. I got so upset I drove to Clearwater with tears in my eyes and stopped at the east bank of the Mississippi under the bridge to calm myself down. I went to school with David and Larry and Tom.  David and Larry and Tom and I paid the same fee for every college credit.  The four of us got the same assignments.  The four of us worked hard for our degrees. i don't remember if they graduated with honors but I know I did. David and Larry and Tom got jobs easier than I did because they applied in a field typically,  at least in the 1970's, was a job for women.  AND THEY GOT PAID MORE THAN I DID! This upsetting train of thought came to my head yesterday on a sandy island on the Saint  Croix River.  A friend scooped up a frog and it croaked as it was lifted.  We identified it as a green frog and because it croaked we knew it was a male.  Female frogs do not speak. I find it interesting that one gender croaks and another remains silent. But how do we know that all frogs are either one or the other? Gender can be a matter of degrees.  I consider myself a female but this morning I mowed the lawn wearing farmer overalls, no make up, and a baseball cap. Did I break the gender rules? I had a skirt on before I mowed but I have to protect myself from the blackberry canes, the thorny bushes and the poison ivy. When I was in second grade another kid teased me because I was a girl and had a lunchbox shaped like a barn.  I loved my barn lunchbox. How did he figure farms and barns were appropriate for boys only? I had been to farms. I saw both my aunts and my uncles on the farms and in the barns and both of them working working equally hard. I have found that kids are often more rigid about genders than adults. When Offspring #2 was 2 years old they got  a gift of dress up clothes including fake make up, a crown, jewelry, a princess dress, and, most mind bending of all, a pair of high heel silver sandals. Seriously?  High heel sandals for a person who has only been walking half of their life? This child was still falling over walking barefoot! High heels are dangerous for me and I had been walking for well over 30 years by then. I realize I am ranting but be prepared for me to use more gender neutral language in the future.  I am not too old to learn. I won't be fluent and I will make mistakes.  I will try. I hope it's easier than using a foreign language. I try because being called an erroneous pronoun can be upsetting to others as David, Larry and Tom's income was to me. I want to use a barn lunchbox without comment.  I want to wear functional clothing that I like. I want to earn my salary because of my ability and experience and not because of my gender. I want my grandchildren to be able to choose any blankety blank careers that they want or think they will be good at. I don't think that is too much to ask. I call HORSE APPLES on gender rigidity. The end. You may now resume your normal programming.

Canoe Trip Continued

I almost forgot to mention our canoe trip was with a state park ranger.  While wearing her Smokey the Bear hat in her tiny blue kayak she told us all about the river. She focused on geology for quite a while. Her voice carried well over the still water.  She says Minnesota has the oldest rocks of any other state in our nation.  Canada has some a little bit older but Minnesota ranks #1 as far as old rocks and we should tell that to the park rangers at the Grand Canyon.  The oldest rock is Morton Gneiss (pronounced Morton Nice).  The river is brown like root beer and even has some foam on it because it starts in a bog in Wisconsin. The bog has acidic water.  The water in a bog is so acid that if you were dying of thirst it would be safe to drink from a bog.  The water in the Saint Croix, although pristine, is not safe to drink because of the ducks and other waterfowl (waterfoul).  She says giardia (an intestinal infection you can get from drinking foul water) is a month-long regret.  She was a funny ranger. Water from the same bog at the Saint Croix headwaters also flows north into the Brule River (famous for white water rafting) into Lake Superior. She said when the voyageurs came to Minnesota the people here were astounded by the fact they wanted the beaver.  Beaver pelts were high fashion in Europe and worth a pretty penny.  Once that was over the settlers wanted the tall, straight 200 foot high white pines. For a paper mill to be a success they had to have a constant steady supply of logs. To keep the log supply steady for the paper mill they built a dam.  She also said, and I have always wondered about this, Taylors Falls never had any falls.  A more accurate name would be Taylors Rapids. If you have been to Taylors Falls you might have seen the sharp right turn the river takes there. Most rivers do not make ninety degree turns but the hard rock forced the water to go that way.  In the winter the ice was a barrier to moving logs. The loggers made ice breaker islands that are still there.  They made six huge wooden crates and filled them with boulders. Over the years the wood is gone and the boulders have shifted but the islands remain. Our ranger told us to look for painted, spiny softshell and map turtles on the ice breaker islands. As my partner and I went by the first island we saw a painted, a spiny softshell AND a map turtle on one island big enough to park one car. This was one talented park ranger! She said if we see a log popping up out of the water (and we do all the time) and the log has a marking on it, it is probably a white pine cut by the loggers.  If we find one we should notify the MN Historical Society as they will want to know about this. We had lunch on a sandy island.  My partner wanted to see a belted kingfisher. As she relaxed on the beach eating her sandwich and I stood in the warm water eating donated gorp I saw one coming up the river pausing at one tree before proceeding to the next.  "Look!" I shouted at my partner,"A belted kingfisher came just for you!"  We proceeded down stream.  My partner and I took the path less traveled around one island. We took the shallow side. Away from the group my partner and I took to singing songs like Yankee Doodle Dandy, My Bonny Lies Over The Ocean, and a great rendition of Michael Row Your Boat Ashore. She knew more words than I did.  I wasn't sure I was up to a canoe trip this year because of my hips but now I know I can do it.  I just need someone to steady the boat.  I will start planning another canoe trip for August or September and suggest this part of the river instead of the Taylors Falls to Osceola trip.  Both trips cost the same so why not explore a different part of the most amazing, most pristine, historic Saint Croix river?

Canoe Trip!

This canoe trip made up for a hectic week at work. Beautiful river. We parked at Wild River State Park an were shuttled north to where the Sunrise River flows into the Saint Croix. Even though I wore quick dry pants that went to my ankles and a spf shirt that went to my wrists an a hat the size of Rhone Island, I feel totally sunbaked..  I kept up though and managed to get in an out of the canoe without too much loss of dignity.  This is my first canoe trip with two artificial hips.  I wasn't sure I could do it but it turns out I can.  Everything went swimmingly.

Everything went well except my delicious lunch that I had packed so carefully. I left it at home.  Like a raccoon at a campsite I begged food from my companions and they fed me.  Here we are on goose poop island.  Many yellow swallow-tailed butterflies fed on the goose poop.  I stood knee deep in the water while I ate my food donations.  We found some mussels an a green frog.  The Trade River flows in from Wisconsin right at this spot.

I got home safe and sound and boy, did that lunch ever taste good!

Anticipation!

Tomorrow I am going canoeing on the upper Saint Croix River on a six hour trip out of Ameland (Wild River State Park).  I'm going with a group of master naturalists.  I think I am ready.  I have my life vest, chaco sandals, dry bag, dry fanny pack, extra large sun hat, quick dry pants, shirt and underpants, lunch (tofu, pistachios, persimmon, cauliflower - and yes, I know I eat weird), drinks (coffee, water, strawberry cinnamon kefir), camera, binoculars (can't find my good ones!), camera (charging now), $10 (what a deal!), and am I missing anything?  I think I am ready.  Can.  Not. Wait.  My date is Glennie who was also my canoeing partner when we canoed the Mississippi River Bottoms near Winona at the Master Naturalist convention. She knows how to steer.  I think I will let her have the stern with my new hip and all.  Oh, the camera is charging.  I hope I remember that.  Might have pics tomorrow if I remember the camera. 

Rams

I saw the best film this week that I have seen in a long time. This one is about bachelor farmers and seriously, it is like seeing my Uncle Jimmy on the big screen.  The care and love of his flock of sheep, the tender dedication he shows to each animal, you just don't see this kind of depiction in American films.  This farmer doesn't say much and he speaks in Norwegian or Icelandic, I'm not sure but I can't understand a word he says which is much like my Uncle Jimmy.  The kitchen scenes look like my uncle's kitchen. The way the farmer goes to town to socialize reminds me of my uncle too.  There are a few differences of course. My uncle shaves his face and trims his hair. The lonely countryside is filmed in a way I have never seen before.  The photography in the blizzard scene is really high quality film making.  This story is actually about two farmers, two brothers actually who don't speak to each other. The other day I was talking to my neighbor.  I told him another neighbor and I exchange foreign films.  He looked at me as if I confessed I was a Democrat and said, "Oh, you are one of those."  Yes, I am.  You can be one of those too.  Watch a foreign film. Watch "Rams."  Available on Netflix.

Food

Tonight I went to the Farmers Market in Nowthen to pick up my allottment of food.  Besides the quart of organic strawberries I got 2 ears of corn, 2 peppers, a head of garlic, 3 red onions, a bunch of arugula, 3 beets, 2 cucumbers, and a big head of white cauliflower (last week my cauliflower was yellow).  The chickens devoured the cucumber already. They also pecked away at both of the corn cobs. And did I show restraint in shopping?  I did very well.  I bought one delicious $2 oat, rhubarb ginger scone and that baby was gone before I entered the city of Ramsey.

Needs Versus Wants

Do you ever have a day when the same theme keeps cropping up?  I had one today and the theme was needs versus wants.  Some people really struggle with this.  They buy too much.  They buy and return things frequently. They live beyond their means.  They regret the things they have purchased. Their own short-sightedness holds them back from achieving the goals they have for themselves.  They have overdrafts and bankruptcy and much unnecessary stress.  It is tough to decide what is an actual need and what is an actual want. I struggle too but not as much as most people.  I live below my means.  I have no credit card bills. I hardly ever return something and if I do it's because it's broken or unusable. I am one of the few Americans who has six months of living expenses available to me in the bank. Still I struggle.  We were talking about CSA's (consumer supported agriculture) and the Nowthen Farmer's Market.  I said it was hard to go there because there is so much stuff to buy.  My CSA food is prepaid but I always bring some cash because someone I know sells baked goods and I feel obliged to buy one. I don't need a baked good. No one really needs a baked good. Once in a while a baked good is fine to buy because it is a delicious food. But the other stuff I see there like the art carvings, the earrings, the sauerkraut, the aprons and hot pads and flowers and scarves and jewelry and spices and, oh, tons of stuff. I see this yard decoration of a flower on a metal rod that has a plate, a saucer, and a cup.  Inside the cup is a tiny little frog or a butterfly.  Art with colorful recycled materials is right up my alley. Now, I love that yard art but is that a need or a want?  My friend asked me, "Will it make you smile every night when you come home?"  Honestly I have to say no. Nothing would make me smile every night. I might say yes if it was Sam Elliot standing there by the garage door but yard art?  I might smile the first week but less frequently after that. The lesson I take away from all this is not to judge those who struggle with the balance of need versus want.

I Received Governmental Approval

Over the weekend I painted my mailbox red. I finished up the job by putting a note inside asking my postal carrier if she or he liked it.  Turns out he (his name is Randy) does like it.  I can't read all the words he wrote but he circled approve and added some words.  He wrote "LOL I like your bravy" Or maybe it's not bravy, it's jrury or bruiv? Then he wrote more. "Randy, your stoner" I would expect that to be carrier and not stoner but I'm not sure.  It could also be wanker. "I appreciate the size of it most of all. Everyone should have one that big." I try to show restraint but those last two sentences literally beg for a THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID.!

Wood Chucks Chucking

My neighbor tells me he has live trapped five woodchucks.  He relocated them 4 miles away. I should have asked where. We don't have woodchuck relocation camps and it makes a difference if they were released on public or private lands. I forgot to ask because the video she showed me of an angry woodchuck inside a live trap was, frankly, nightmarish. That night I did not have a nightmare but I did hear an animal right outside my bedroom window.  I listened intently. This creature made six sounds a couple minutes apart. By the fifth sound I thought I heard an oink. In my fear I guessed the animal was a woodchuck because, you know, ground hog is another name for woodchuck and a hog is a pig and pigs say oink. Then the animal left and I went back to sleep. In the morning I sprayed Deer Be Gone all around the perimeter of my house.  I did not want a snarling woodchuck burrowing under my house. Then I thought some more. How scary is a woodchuck when it comes right down to it? It wouldn't bite me unless I had it cornered.  A woodchuck is certainly not as destructive as a squirrel or a raccoon. A woodchuck chucks wood. My house is wood but it has cement block foundation. Why can't I just leave the woodchuck in peace?  I have a woodchuck den in my yard now.  The woodchuck had a den in the driveway before it moved closer to the house.  It's just a peaceable round hole in the ground. Why should I worry about it? And if I did want to disturb the woodchuck, wouldn't that cause it to possibly move closer to the house instead of farther away? Besides, woodchuck lives matter. I talked to a couple people about it and they said they had woodchucks living under their sheds and they left them alone in peace.  One guy who lives near me had not only a woodchuck living under his shed but over the years had a fox and a possum live there too. Nothing bad ever happened. I actually kind of like woodchucks. I think they look like miniature bears. Wood chucks have never given me any trouble except for that one girl scout meeting 20 years ago and that wasn't the woodchuck's fault. My legendary dog, Ruby, caught one and threw it at the feet of a girl scout troop cluster. The girls screamed bloody murder as Ruby tore it limb from limb right in front of them. That was not the girl scout experience I had planned. Here is a picture of me holding a wombat which, in my mind, is the Australian version of a woodchuck.

Waiting For Government Approval

I painted my mailbox red this weekend.  Inside I left a note for the postal carrier asking for their opinion on the red mailbox.  The options were to circle approve, disapprove or conflicted. I look forward to seeing the reply Monday afternoon.  Solid red is good but don't you think it would look better with some glow in the dark dragonfly stickers?

Cucumbers Aren't My Favorite

My chickens like cucumbers though.  I arranged for them to have the state-fair-esque treat of a fresh, cool, cucumber on a stick. I had to sequester the birds in the house so they wouldn't fly the coop while I set up the treat. One chicken actually tried to open the door on me so I had to use the lock. The chickens looked at the cucumber for a good two minutes in a flirtatious manner.  It was as if they didn't want to be filmed while they stared. Chickenson Caruso, always the leader of the flock, was the first to venture a peck. She took five pecks before a cuckoo maran dared to take a bite. By the time 90 minutes had passed the cucumber was a goner. I tried to film the chicken antics but I had pushed the wrong button on my camera.  Shoot!

Fresh Chemical Free Vegetables

This week my csa allotment included Napa cabbage, garlic, red onion, white onion, cucumber, peas, kohlrabi, dinosaur kale, orange (my favorite color) cauliflower, parsley, strawberries, radishes, Yukon potatoes and zucchini.  Yum!

Beauty And The Beast

What fun it is to see a performance when you know someone in it.  The performances done by the Fridley Community Theater are a cut above some other local theater work I have seen. The costumes were better.  The sound was better. The sets were better. The lighting was better. The dancing was incredible.I had never seen wolves terrorize people through dance before.  My favorite character of the night, of course, was Cogsworth. This role is perfect for someone so tightly wound. As the play progressed Cogsworth lost more of his human qualities and became more of a clock with the sudden appearance of a handle on his back to wind him up. There was a bit of frightening costuming! A little boy played Chip - the chipped tea cup.  He sat inside a little cabinet that looked totally empty from our vantage point but wasn't. All we could see was his bright little face inside a hole in a big tea cup. He did a great job.  Luminere was also a charming candle stick. Beauty was very talented and reminded me of someone I work with. The Beast was excellent as well.The show goes on this weekend and next weekend. I recommend you go if you can. 

A Place To Call Home

Were you a fan of Downton Abbey like I was?  If so, this television series called A Place To Call Home can be your new Downton Abbey. Set in 1953 in Australia the drama is griping, concise and quick moving with the scenery and the costumes are very well done. The topics mirror the topics we face today.  I was hooked on the first season.  I am even more hooked now that I am on season three.

Another Visitor

This lovely winged creature wearing an outfit with distinctive orange trim came by my window and willingly posed for a portrait.

Luau

via GIPHY

Last night my master naturalist chapter had a social event with a Hawaiian theme.  What fun to wear flowered shirts and lei's and Bermuda shorts. I had a blast.  I brought Hawaiian Sweet and Sour Not Chicken. I got lots of compliments on it and only one person realized it wasn't real chicken.  I guess they over-looked the word not on the label. We talked about a ton of topics and I was thoroughly entertained the whole time along with the 20 other people there.  I think I should host more parties myself now that I have such a terrific hostess to emulate.

What Was In the Box That Came In The Mail For The Chickens?

Nice handwriting for chickens. Not like the chicken scratches I expected.

Who's job was it to hold a bed pan under a wolf?

Truth is Stranger Than Fiction or "You've Got Mail!"

My chickens got a package in the mail.  Don't believe me?  The photo is my evidence. The mail is from another flock of fine feathered friends.  What is inside?  I suspect the contents will scare a fox but I am too astounded to open it today.

All The Light We Cannot See

Anthony Doerr's writing in All the Light We Cannot See is concise and crisp.  His words bring images to my mind more than most books I have read. Historical fiction about world war two is not happy reading but there are happy moments in the lives of Werner, a young German orphan boy and Marie-Laure, a young French girl who happens to be blind. With Werner and Marie-Laure and a cast of other fascinating characters, it is no surprise to me at all that this book won the Pulitzer Prize in 2015. Read it.  You won't be disappointed.

Ten Days

Ten days and ten nights I have had no fox appear. With every day that passes without a fox the hours of sleep I lost that night become less significant.  I am not the only one terrorized by a fox.  At a local farm in Oak Grove where a certain Polish rooster went to live in finer fashion, much of his harem has been taken by the Oak Grove fox. He, Phil Diller, survives.

One Hundred Names

Cecelia Ahern wrote One Hundred Names, a book chosen by my book club for the month of July. You know how some books have threads that tie the characters or the events together? The threads in this book are so fine you could blow them away with your breath.  In this story a young journalist, Kitty, who lives in Ireland, made a huge error and ruined a man's life with false information. Kitty is not a careful person. Frankly she is not a nice person. Her ethics seem to be completely absent.  She has a mentor who, on her death bed, gives her a list of one hundred names.  Kitty is supposed to find out what the connection is.  We hear the stories of six people in great detail.  Some are more interesting than others. What I think happened is that the author had six short stories and threw them together into a book and tried to make it work. Other people in my book club agree because we never hear about 100 people, there is no connection between the six people we do hear about and for what other reason go into so much detail on the six? I would have preferred to read six short stories.

Turnip

Today I ate a turnip. Never having tried turnips before I ate this one sliced and raw with hummus.  Now I know.  I like turnip. At least I like them early in the season and raw. I think it is good to try new foods. Last week I ate garlic scapes. I had never heard of them before but they are really delicious diced and sauteed with eggs or taco "meat." The scape is the flower bulb of the garlic bulb that is cut off to encourage the bulb to fatten up before setting a flower. The flavor is milder than garlic and the scape remains firm and crunchy even when sauteed. I am getting these new foods because I joined a different CSA (consumer supported agriculture) this year. I chose this one because the farm is closer to my home.  Nowthen is just up the road from me. I chose it because my pick up day is Thursday and I do most of my cooking on the weekends.  I chose it because my share is smaller in size and less expensive.  Finally, I chose it because for only $80 more I get a full quart of fresh organic strawberries every week.  These strawberries are to die for. Unlike the freaky Frankenstein sized tasteless strawberries I can get year round at the grocery store, these strawberries are tiny and bursting with delicious flavor. Positively bursting with strawberriness! I eat them for breakfast. I use them to brew delicious strawberry kefir. I suppose I could make jam but I prefer fresh strawberries to strawberry jam and I can eat a quart by myself. I pick up my food at the farmer's market in Nowthen.  Unlike the other farmer's markets I have been to in Anoka County, this market has more than three sad-faced farmers.  This one has fresh fruits and vegetables, breads, jams, sauerkraut, syrup, honey, baked goods, cheeses, spice mixtures, sewn goods, knitted goods, carvings, crafts made out of recycled materials, and soap. Speaking of baked goods, one of the vendors sells baked goods.  We recognized each other right away. When she was in sixth grade or so I gave her a ride home from school or events many times until she got her own car.  Now she is all grown up and selling baked goods. Obviously I HAVE to buy from her.  The first week it was a caramel roll so large it barely fit on a plate. I tried to show restraint but it was so good I ate most of it on the way home and now my steering wheel is sticky.  The second week was a blueberry turnover. I was determined to eat only a fourth of it and save the rest for later. That thing was gone a mile before I reached my house. I am helpless at her table. My only recourse is to bring only three dollars because without more money, I won't be able to buy more.

What I Don't Know About Deer Could Fill A Book

The other day I posted a crappy picture of what turned out to be deer dung.  I learned that a doe will leave a scattering of pellets and that is what I am accustomed to seeing.  I learned that a buck will leave the pellets in a clump.  Seriously? Each gender of the same animal craps in a different way? Mind=blown! What possible evolutionary purpose can this serve? I am curious. I also learned that deer be gone is actually effective if you apply it every 10-14 days.  Again.  Mind=blown. Live and learn!

The Bully Pulpit: Theodore Roosevelt, Howard Taft and the Golden Age of Journalism

Look at the mustaches on these two presidents. Full, thick and long  the mustaches are just like the book Doris Kearns Goodwin wrote in this historical fiction. This book is at  least twice the size of a regular book and it will take a long time to read it but I recommend you do read it because you will learn and you will gain perspective. I, for instance, learned that with my beliefs and my values, 110 years ago I could have gladly voted for the Republican party.  At that time Republicans wanted to preserve the environment, break up the rail road and oil monopolies, protect the lives of the working class and distribute the wealth more evenly. I read this book because a friend of mine suggested our current POTUS reminds him of Theodore Roosevelt. I can see it too. Psychologically I see similarities.  Yet Teddy's face is carved into Mount Rushmore and he is considered to be on of the top ten presidents we have had so far. Theodore had strengths and weaknesses and he went at things full force. I think he was a fairly good president but a terrible former president.  He sabotaged Taft and he sabotaged his own party. It is not often that I think how things run currently is better than the good old days but the fact that former presidents pretty much keep their mouths shut about the current president is a good and healthy social norm. I really liked Howard Taft.  If I had one complaint about this book it is the author body shames Howard. For crying out loud, who cares if he gained 30 pounds or lost fifty pounds? I saw no reason to pick on Oprah Winfrey about her weight and no reason to pick on Howard Taft either.  The history of American journalism was the third topic in this book and Roosevelt knew how to use the power of journalists. Yet he was the one who used the word muck raker. Certain themes from then and now kept creeping into my thoughts. Is muck raker the equivalent of fake news? Is Laissez faire the equivalent of the Republican Party beliefs on bankers and other big businesses? Is Tammany Hall the equivalent of the political lobbyists system we have going on now? I don't know the answers but I would prefer to think about these big ideas instead of anybody's tweets.  One thing my buddy Howard Taft said stuck with me. Taft said (and this was after being screwed over by his former friend TR) that it is not the people that are important in politics.  What is important in politics are the values.

Who?

Tell me who, who chose the grass a mere five feet away from the chicken coop to relieve themselves?  Surely not a fox. I would expect hair in the dung of a fox and a smaller diameter. Maybe a deer? A deer with digestive issues?  A deer with digestive issues from eating my hostas, tomato plants and sunflower plants?

Practice Makes Perfect. It's Not Like Riding A Bike

My listening prowess is at the apex of this current year. After completing the owl survey, 3 marsh bird surveys and 3 frog and toad surveys, my ears are a finely tuned instrument. By the time March of 2018 comes around I will have lost my auditory muscles and my listening skills will be as weak and flabby as any couch potato. All winter long all I hear are about a dozen birds. So it should be no wonder I didn't get any sleep in the tent on Fourth of July eve. 

When Things Get Quiet

On July 3 I got the bright idea to camp outside in my yard to fend off the fox.  Who camps outside when a soft and comfy bed is so near?  Who camps outside on the evening when our country celebrates our independence with the sounds of war? Ask me if I got any sleep.  No. On the other hand I did learn some things and I have not encountered the fox, to my knowledge since the morning of July 3rd. What did I learn?  My yard is a noisy place. Even without bombs bursting in air it is a noisy place. The chickens move around all night long. The sound of tires traveling the speed limit on county roads can be heard 2 miles before and 2 miles after arrival. When things get really quiet though, when no cars are in the area, no trains are going by, no jets flying overhead, a constant and overlapping chorus of green frogs can be heard in my yard. I have lived here a quarter of a century and did not know that.

Unique Camping Experience Available For A Limited Time Only

Don't let summer pass you by without experiencing the joys of summer camping. Unique camp site available for a limited time only. Five person luxurious tent included along with fresh black berries (pick your own), free parking, tasty well water, unlimited rain water, fresh eggs (depending on availability) and the companionship of six hens. Electricity available at extra cost. 

Do Foxes Wear Watches?

Friday 0500 a.m., Saturday 0500 a.m., Sunday 0500 a.m., Monday 0400 and 0504 a.m. are the times the fox tries to murder a chicken outside my bedroom window. Those are the times I have to get up, get dressed, go downstairs, put on my mud boots, and march out to the chicken coop. Always on the hour I was beginning to wonder if this fox doesn't wear a wrist watch or maybe an ankle watch. As I type this with bleary, blood-shot eyes I wonder how and of equal importance when this reign of terror will end.

Bubble Soccer

Yesterday was a beautiful summer day. I spent it at a park celebrating a graduation. Good food and hilarious conversations will result in many good memories.  The invitation said to prepare for bubble soccer.  I did.  I did prepare for bubble soccer. I watched a video of bubble soccer and prepared in two ways. I decided not to play and I made sure I couldn't change my mind by wearing a dress. I was well prepared for this new social phenomenon. Bubble soccer is interesting to watch. Players start out strong and energetic and after a couple minutes their energy wanes alarmingly fast. They run slower. Some players lose interest in the soccer ball. During breaks in the action most players rest in a forward bent position that looks very uncomfortable. The thing is, players run out of oxygen inside those bubbles.  To get air the player either has to bend forward at the waist to allow fresh air to come in around their face or bend their necks back and look up at the sky.  On the sidelines I stood in my summer dress holding glasses, wallets and other stuff*. I looked over this crazy scene and laughed until my stomach hurt. Bubble soccer is like watching aliens play gladiator. Truly, you must witness this for yourself. To know the aliens playing gladiator makes it even more fun. I had to memorize the shorts, shoes, and leg tattoos of my family to keep it straight. I saw the personality traits of my family members come out naked and unashamed. Traits like aggression, sick sense of humor, timidity, joviality, class clown, team work, determination, goal oriented, driven, slapstick, and silly were all evident. One family member prefers to spend her time inverted with her long strong legs pointed high in the sky. Without bubble soccer I never would have known that.

*Stuff I held in my bag included an item for which I do not have a permit to carry. Lucky for me I was having so much fun watching soccer I didn't have time to stress out about that.

Frogs Wearing Expensive Coats

On Friday we did our final frog and toad survey for this year.  I figured we would have a great night and we did. While I was preparing to leave and bringing food out to my chickens two crazy loud blue jays were chasing something in the sky. I looked up and there, only 8 feet above my head, was a barred owl. Wow! Right above my head?  A barred owl? That was a crazy good omen. After dinner at Freddies in Mora we went out on our prescribed path through the swamps of Kennebec County. While traffic on Highway 169 and 23 was horrendous the traffic on our route was exceptionally light making it easier to hear the frogs. We heard tree frogs and green frogs.  We heard one spring peeper who had an amazing amount of energy and enthusiasm. Normally, with the water temperature being up to 70 degrees, a spring peeper is quiet but not this spring peeper. The fire flies were putting on quite a spectacular show. On this route on this night we heard more mink frogs than ever before.  We heard them at three spots and they were the spots with open water and lily pads. I don't think mink frogs like the rushes as much as the lily pads, more comfortable seating do doubt. With their bright green lips they make a sound like horse hooves on cobblestone. To know what they sound like you must either watch an old movie or come to a lake in Kennebec county that has lily pads and listen. Mink frogs are found only in seven states and Minnesota is the western edge of their territory. Canada has a lot of mink frogs too but it could be the species is in decline.