Monday, July 24, 2017

Wood Chucks Chucking

My neighbor tells me he has live trapped five woodchucks.  He relocated them 4 miles away. I should have asked where. We don't have woodchuck relocation camps and it makes a difference if they were released on public or private lands. I forgot to ask because the video she showed me of an angry woodchuck inside a live trap was, frankly, nightmarish. That night I did not have a nightmare but I did hear an animal right outside my bedroom window.  I listened intently. This creature made six sounds a couple minutes apart. By the fifth sound I thought I heard an oink. In my fear I guessed the animal was a woodchuck because, you know, ground hog is another name for woodchuck and a hog is a pig and pigs say oink. Then the animal left and I went back to sleep. In the morning I sprayed Deer Be Gone all around the perimeter of my house.  I did not want a snarling woodchuck burrowing under my house. Then I thought some more. How scary is a woodchuck when it comes right down to it? It wouldn't bite me unless I had it cornered.  A woodchuck is certainly not as destructive as a squirrel or a raccoon. A woodchuck chucks wood. My house is wood but it has cement block foundation. Why can't I just leave the woodchuck in peace?  I have a woodchuck den in my yard now.  The woodchuck had a den in the driveway before it moved closer to the house.  It's just a peaceable round hole in the ground. Why should I worry about it? And if I did want to disturb the woodchuck, wouldn't that cause it to possibly move closer to the house instead of farther away? Besides, woodchuck lives matter. I talked to a couple people about it and they said they had woodchucks living under their sheds and they left them alone in peace.  One guy who lives near me had not only a woodchuck living under his shed but over the years had a fox and a possum live there too. Nothing bad ever happened. I actually kind of like woodchucks. I think they look like miniature bears. Wood chucks have never given me any trouble except for that one girl scout meeting 20 years ago and that wasn't the woodchuck's fault. My legendary dog, Ruby, caught one and threw it at the feet of a girl scout troop cluster. The girls screamed bloody murder as Ruby tore it limb from limb right in front of them. That was not the girl scout experience I had planned. Here is a picture of me holding a wombat which, in my mind, is the Australian version of a woodchuck.

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