AGB

I try to be nice and not judge people but sometimes a spade is a spade and an agb is an agb. Don't know what an agb is? Keep reading and you will find out. I know this guy. He doesn't work with me (thank Buddha). He's not related to me (thank Allah). He's not a friend. He's someone I run into a couple times a year. Several times he has told us he is too busy to continue with our group because he has more highbrow things to do with his time. He gets my hopes up. But he keeps coming back. I thought he was in his 70's but it turns out he is only in his late 50's. He is something else. He will tell you, repeatedly, not to decide a certain way because it is less work. He unabashedly assumes we would always choose the path of less work. He must think we're lazy. He does not hesitate to say so. "Now don't decide because it's less work," he'll say. In fact, he likes to keep saying it over and over until I'd like to smack him in the mouth. And then once a decision is made after much discussion and a vote is taken, he says, "I knew you would choose that. It's less work." He has the gall to say that even though HE MADE THE DECIDING VOTE. Someone calls him on it. Can he admit HE chose less work? Nooooooo. Can he admit the choice was a better one on merits other than less work? Hell, no. It's only less work if it's one of us making the decision. I can only conclude he thinks his decisions are on a higher plane. He loves to hear himself talk. Sometimes when he's talking I can help but think how this agb would have made an excellent character on the Seinfeld show. No doubt he would have a recurring role. I haven't asked but he must have been a college professor at one time. I won't ask because then he'll talk some more and I have heard enough from this guy. I think he misses having a forced, captive audience. He talks and talks. He talks down to us. He will say things like "the written word was first recorded fifty five hundred years ago. That means five thousand, five hundred years." I KNOW WHAT FIFTY FIVE HUNDRED YEARS AGO MEANS! He doesn't have to say it two ways. And who cares when the first word was written? Most people like a little give and take during conversation. Not this agb. He's all take. He will go ON and ON and ON. It doesn't matter how many people roll their eyes or slump down on the table resting their head on their arms. He's probably used to that from being a college professor. He might even expect it. Physically displaying complete and utter boredom doesn't slow him down. Social cues don't matter to him. Telling him directly and assertively he's taking too much time doesn't bother him in the least. He'll go right on talking. In fact, first he'll talk for five minutes about how he thought he was entitled to more time and then he'll go on talking about what he was talking about before. This agb likes to talk about how right he is. If he made a list, he will research other people who made the same list and compare how many of his choices are on their lists. And if an expert made a list that doesn't include his choices, he'll tell us, in detail, why they were wrong to not include it. He will even (I am not making this up) read to you for 10 minutes from a paper he wrote in college. Is the paper related to the topic? No. The connection is very obscure. How many people in their 50's keep the papers they wrote in college anyway? Who would think, without asking, that anyone would want to hear another person's forty year old college paper read aloud? Only an arrogant gas bag would think that. That is right, I called him an arrogant gas bag. And I tell you what, my life is too short to give this agb another minute of my time. Ever.