Ways to Say "Your Barn Door Is Open"

20) The cucumber has left the salad.
19) I can see the gun of Navarone.
18) Someone tore down the wall, and your Pink Floyd is hanging out.
17) You’ve got Windows in your laptop.
16) Sailor Ned’s trying to take a little shore leave.
15) Your soldier ain’t so unknown now.
14) Quasimodo needs to go back in the tower and tend to his bell.
13) Paging Mr. Johnson… Paging Mr. Johnson…
12) You need to bring your tray table to the upright and locked position.
11) Your pod bay door is open, Hal.
10) Elvis Junior has LEFT the building!
9) Mini me is making a break for the escape pod.
8) Ensign Hanes is reporting a hull breach on the lower deck, Sir!
7) The Buick is not all the way in the garage.
6) Dr. Kimble has escaped!
5) You’ve got your fly set for “Monica” instead of “Hillary.”
4) Our next guest is someone who needs no introduction…
3) You’ve got a security breach at Los Pantalones.
2) I’m talking about Shaft, can you dig it?
And The Number One Way To Tell Someone Their Fly Is Unzipped…1) I thought you were crazy; now I see your nuts.

The most creative way I was told to XYZ (examine your zipper) happened in the spring of 1977. I had a date. I was all dressed up in a new outfit in the latest style. I had a pair of bell bottom high waist jeans with a double snap at the waistband, a yellow ribbed turtleneck, and a new blue and yellow plaid flannel shirt. I was sitting on the couch with my date when my roommate asked me to come into the kitchen and get a drink of water.

"No, thanks," I answered, wondering what was up with her and why did she think I needed a drink of water. I was only going on a date, not for a several mile run.

"Ok," she says extra cheerily, "I'll bring you one."

She brought me a glass of water with a paper coaster under it. She makes a point of setting the glass on the coaster even though my hand is reaching out for the glass. I give her a look as if to say, "What is up with you?" I reach for the glass and I read a handwritten note on the paper coaster that says, "YOUR FLY IS OPEN!"

How would a poised college woman handle this?

I have no idea how someone with poise would act. I just drank the water, put the glass down, looked down to see my fly gaping open an inch or more, yanked that zipper up as high as it could go, and pretended nothing happened.