Frog and Toad Survey #1

Last night a sibling and an offspring and I did the first of the three frog and toad surveys.  This is a volunteer position. We listen for frogs and toads at ten spots on a designated route in rural Kannebec County, collect data, and turn it into the Department of Natural Resources.  This is our third year on the same route.  Everything went pretty well. We didn't get lost.  We didn't get stuck in the mud.  And we heard lots of frogs.  We heard chorus frogs, wood frogs, and spring peepers.  We heard great horned owls and barred owls.  I try to talk in my best barred owl dialect but I think the owls can tell I am a imposter. We heard what we think was a couple of unknown birds.  One sounded like an electronic cartoon road runner.  Whatever that bird was, it was close to us at two frog spots.  Some other bird had a prettier and longer song.  At our stop by White Lily lake, we heard splashing.  The first time I heard it I joked about a mermaid.  By the fourth time I heard splashing very near to us I began to get a little freaked out.  Normally I am not a fearful or nervous person but it is a little scary being out on a deserted road at night, in the dark, standing outside for five minutes at a time listening to the night noises.  I am glad I am not alone.  And we were happy to hear the wood frogs making their mating noises because they only do that 2 weeks of the year.  Fifty weeks of silence followed by two weeks of "keck a hecking."  At the last stop we heard quite a few chorus frogs, a couple peepers and maybe one wood frog.  As time passed, the wood frogs got louder and sounded closer. The wood frogs are getting so loud we can't even hear the chorus frogs or spring peepers anymore.  Maybe the wood frogs were startled when we got out of the car and as they got used to us, started to talk more.  A minute went by.  More wood frogs are talking.  Wood frogs are screaming at us.  One of them sounds so close it's like he's under the car.  Comments are made.  "They're getting closer."  "So many."  "Sounds like an army of frogs."  "Legions!"  "They're carrying tiny swords."  Crowd mentality sets in on the three of us humans.  It's late. We're tired.  We've been up for 18 hours now.  Rational thoughts are pushed aside by panic.  We stand defenseless in total darkness and not a house in sight.  We're pushing up the fear factor with inflammatory words. For me, the word "legions" was the most terrifying.  Offspring #2 says our five minutes are up and we dash to the car in terror.  Natural resources be dammed!  We no longer care about amphibians.  We want to get in the car and get it started before we're attacked.  As I push in the clutch I say, "I shall smite you with my black radials!"  Once the wheels start turning, the fear subsides like water drains out of a sink.  We never even saw a frog.  What were we worried about?