Off We Go Into The Wild Blue Yonder

OMG!  My flight lesson was (sing it) AWESOME!  From the moment I walked into Twin Cities Aviation humming the Air Force song until the moment I left, I had a great time.  My flight instructor was handsome and helpful and gave me glowing marks on my flying skills.  I am terrible with names and I can't remember his but that doesn't mean he was a superb teacher.  First I filled out a form where I put my name under the line "Pilot."  We did a thorough pre-flight inspection including removing samples of air fuel from about a dozen ports to make sure it was clean, water free, and the blue color it is supposed to be.  We flew a little Cessna, um, I think it was a 175.  I'll post a photo later.  Inside we were in there tight together.  I wore a seat belt with a shoulder strap just like in a car. He had me sit in the driver's seat (if it was a car) which made me a little nervous but he had a full set of controls too. He showed me the main six dials I should watch. He called it the six pack.  I couldn't see over the dash so he pumped my chair as high as it goes.  I still couldn't see over the dash.  I asked, "Do I need a phone book?"  He said I was close enough now.  The ignition is just like a car and on my side so he had me turn it on.  I cranked it to the right while  he adjusted the handle that is like a choke but not a choke.  I can't remember the exact word he used.  The prop was turning now.  We put on our headphones and adjusted the mouthpieces until we could hear each other talk.  One strange thing about planes is that on the ground you fly with only your feet and no hands.  Later, when you are in the air, you fly with only your hands and not your feet.  Once we got on a longer runway he had me drive the plane with my feet.  Press the left pedal to go left and the right pedal to go right - a lot like a sea kayak with rudder controls.  The wind was gusty and kept pushing the plane to the left so I had to compensate with pushing more on the right pedal.  I had a wide road and I tried to keep the center line right under the plane.  Like steering a motorized boat or a canoe, sometimes I overcompensated.  He said I did really well.  "Most people end up in the tulips."  I think he meant the grass.  Soon it was our turn to go up.  We were to head south to start.  As soon as we got above 5500 something or other, I was to pull back on the controls to go up.  I can't even see over the top of the dashboard.  I wasn't watching no stinking instruments.  He took us up in the air and then he had me fly up and to the south.  Oh, my.  Flying an aircraft is so multi-dimensional.  And the gusty winds were freaking me out a little.  Oh, the nose is going down!  What do I do?  Pull back on the yoke.  Oh, we're going too high!  What do I do?  Push back on the yoke.  Oh, we're going too far to the right?  What do I do?  Turn left.  Before I can think these thoughts, my hands are doing the right thing.  My feet feel useless and clumsy - they're no help at all.  I need all my limbs to do this because this is hard!!!!!  We get up to 2,500 feet.  He said we were there - I was concentrating too hard to look at that.  He tells me to turn left now.  I say, "Okay."  He said we can turn up to 50 degrees safely,  I turn about 3 or maybe 5 degrees.  He says, "Let me make the turn and then you fly again."  Whoa! He turns and my wing goes way down.  What the heck?  He gives me the controls again once we can go straight.  To say I am a slow turner is a complete understatement.  I can see Bunker Lake Boulevard and Bunker Lake Park.  I ask how fast we're flying.  He tells me the knots (which I can't remember) and says it's equivalent to 130 mph.  Wow, it doesn't feel that fast.  I tell him a friend of mine suggested I ask to do a loop and to feel a negative G force. He looks at me and says, "You have a very daring friend, don't you?"  I said yes.  He says loops are out of the question.  Not allowed. I admit that is okay with me.  He says we can do a negative G force though.  He asks if we know where we are.  I can't tear my eyes away from the horizon to look, for god's sake, it's taking all my senses to fly this thing right.  He doesn't even have his hands on the controls.  I can see Round Lake and Round Lake Boulevard.  I tell him we should see the Rum River and that is when we'll turn north.  I tell him the river is very windy.  He sees the river and tells me to turn right.  I turn right but by the time I get around to north we'll be in Elk River.  I tell him he should drive now and I will navigate.  We find the golf course.  I tell him my house is between the water tower and the river.  He dips down to 1000 feet.  My ears pop again.  I can see Dysprosium street pretty clearly but my house is obscured by trees.  Suddenly I get a glimpse of yellow.  Such a smart decision to choose yellow siding. Go me!  I take a ton of pictures.  the glare is so strong I can't see how any photos turned out so I keep snapping photos of the river, landmarks I recognize, and traffic stopped up on highway 65.  Suddenly he points out the runway ahead of us.  I ask, "Is it too late to do a negative G force?"  He smiles.  "Nope," he says.  HOLY MOLEY!  I AM WEIGHTLESS!  As my butt lifts off my seat and I feel the seat belt hold me down it's all I can do not to swear.  So I scream a little.  It's 100 times more than an poor elevator.  It's 10 times more than a roller coaster.  And then it was over.  "I didn't swear," I tell him.  I had no idea what I was asking for when I asked for negative G force. He says that probably was mostly zero G force (weightlessness) and just a tiny bit negative G force.  Even though the wind is pushing us around, he lands very smoothly and we taxi back to our spot.  We get out.  I kinda want to lie down on the tarmac and compose myself but I don't.  I have some class.  We go back into the hangar.  I thank him very sincerely.  We shake hands and I get in my car.  And there I can relax.  Driving a car seems SO EASY!  No up and down to worry about.  Just accelerating and steering is easy peasy in one dimension..  My heart is still beating fast and it takes several miles of driving my car to calm myself down and get rid of the extra adrenaline in my system.  That was exciting.  That was fun.  Do I want to take more flight lessons?  No, thanks.