I went to get my hair done the other day at a local beauty school. A sweet young student named Ashley took care of me. I noticed 4 other students named Ashley. Why are there so many women named Ashley at the beauty school? I don't get that. My Ashley was a talkative one. "So," she trills in her young voice, "Are you retired?" !!?X!! Out loud I demurely say, "No." Inside my head I say, "What! It's nine freaking o'clock on a Thursday morning and I'm standing here in a skirt with nylons on. How can I possibly look retired to you? I've got more than 10 years before I retire you, you, you youngster you. Oh, what's that sound? That is the sound of your tip flying away! Say bye-bye!" Naturally I don't want someone with scissors in her hands to know her tip is gone before she gets to work so I keep all that inside the skull she works on.
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