I met a friend for lunch today at a restaurant I had never been to before called P.F. Changs. When I arrive she is there waiting for me. I slide in next to her in the booth to give her a hug and she is laughing. She is not only laughing but she is laughing so hard she has tears in her eyes. So this is a little confusing. I give her a hug and she whispers in my ear, "Take a look at the guy on your left." I casually glance left. Seated with his back to us is an elderly man with a pinkish bald head and a green shirt. There is nothing unusual about him at all. So I glance around at the other customers before returning to him. My eyes take in his complete figure. He is seated in a chair with his back to us. As with many typical restaurant chairs there is a gap between the seat of his chair and the back of his chair. OMG. This guy's waistband of his pants must be down around his thighs because from this angle all I see is creamy white skin, a crack, and, I kid you not, cellulite. Ai yi yi! How can he not feel the breeze? Is he oblivious to his exposure or is he deliberately taunting all the customers and workers at PF Changs? We debate. I vote perverted. She is nicer than I am and votes disabled. We consider moving to another part of the restaurant but all the other tables are taken. I can't stand it and deliberately keep my eyes pointing in the same direction away from the exposure of flesh. When he gets up to leave the motion attracts her eye and she groans. Things got worse before they got better. After he left I felt free to look around at the PF Chang decor which is actually pretty nice. And we had a delicious lunch and enjoyed catching up with our lives. PS I highly recommend the vegetarian lettuce wraps at PF Changs - just the perfect amount of cellophane noodles, seasoned tofu and spicy sauce with lettuce leaves on the side to use as bread. This is a lunch we will probably remember fondly 20 years from now.
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